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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I stop DS2 emptying the contents of his drawers all over his bedroom floor?

63 replies

Pinkchampagne · 06/09/2007 21:10

He is four years old, and takes it upon himself to change his outfit, but on doing this he pulls the contents of his drawers all over the bedroom floor!
I have told him he must not do this, and I always make him tidy the clothes away, but he doesn't do a great job, which leads to more work for me.

While they were at my mum's house after school today, I sorted through their drawers as they had got all the clothes so mixed up.

I put DS2 to bed tonight, and when I went up to check him 10 minutes later, he had decided to change his pyjamas & emptied the bottom two drawers all over the floor while searching for the right pair! I could have cried after spending so long sorting the drawers out this afternoon, and I got quite cross with him.
How do I put a stop to this?

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Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 17:51

Basically we just avoided having wardrobes/chest of drawers. All the children have shelving - really easy access for the boys, inaccessible for my daughter (for same reasons as your DS) for pyjamas, underwear, sports clothes etc. All their t-shirts, sweatshirts, jeans are on hangers/hooks and all my daughter's clothes are on hangers on a little white wooden rail at her height so she can see and get at them one by one.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 17:54

I suppose I'm saying - the problem is your furniture, not your son

Judy1234 · 07/09/2007 18:42

I think I've spent nearly 23 years dealing with this. You shoudl have seen my almost 23 year old last night emptying out her cupboard cross the cleaner had hidden her gym trousers, leaving it all out on the floor. She left it but thankfully the cleaner put it away in the morning. I try to hope that (a) they'll tidy up sometimes including the 8 year olds (one is very tidy), (b) the cleaner clears up each morning (c) the part time nanny sometimes does and then I'm (d) but it's fairly constant and I think chidlren are just like that. We did at the weekend go through all the twins' clothes and got rid of those that wouldn't fit. So at least it's easier to see what's there andn they were part of that process. He wouldn't even let me throw anything away. It's stored in a bag for sentimental reasons and for his children to wear he says. This is the twins who has to match up his clothes by colour and like yours changes a lot.

These types of boys will be very well dressed men in their 20s so we just have to be glad we have them in our midst.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 18:46

Xenia I am speechless..... you have a 23 year old daughter living at home and the cleaner picks up after her????? Shame, shame, shame on you

Judy1234 · 07/09/2007 18:53

... we can blame her special needs... she's slightly dyslexic. It's always made her very messy. And she had just started her course and was in a rush to go to the gym and the cleaner does seem to hide the washing sometimes very well. I wash my gym kit separately and get it whisked away to safe keeping in my office to avoid the problem.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 18:54

I am not impressed by the excuses

Judy1234 · 07/09/2007 19:19

She's probably only living here another year. It's tolerable. It will be her husband or lesbian partner or whatever's problem in due course, not mine.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 19:24

Yes, and they'll rue the mother who failed to bring her up properly

Judy1234 · 07/09/2007 19:34

You're disregarding my comment about her dyslexia. When she was 2 she was the same. It's genuinely an organisation issue for her. I don't think it's much to do with how her parents and nanny treated her. She would say she knows where everything is as lots of messy people say. Anyway as long as teenagers' mess is confined to their bed room and they largely tidy it then that's fine.

Anna8888 · 07/09/2007 19:39

I just don't buy that an able-bodied University educated person intending to have a professional career cannot be brought up (a) not to tip all her clothes over the floor (b) not to rely on a cleaner paid for by her mother to do her tidying.

That's a serious parental failing in my book

Judy1234 · 08/09/2007 19:28

Isn't it common sense and good use of time better spent doing something else? If you know the family pays someone to clear up you'd be a bit of an idiot spending all your time doing that person's job? Surely that's a logical position and she was rushing out to the gym.

haychee · 08/09/2007 19:43

Take all the stuff out the drawers and store in your room. Only allow him a few things therefore less mess. And or offer reward for tidying up after hes been in drawers.

HonoriaGlossop · 08/09/2007 19:43

I think you're doing her no favours at all. It is just gross behaviour to just leave it; ok, if you're rushing out, leave it but I assume she came back at some point and she should have done it then. Yes a cleaner is paid to clean but the main issue is your dd thinking that's acceptable. Dyslexia is not an excuse for looking at a pile of crap that you have left and disregarding it because it's someone else's job because you're lucky enough to have wealthy parents. You need to be ensuring she's able to cope independently. It will inform every area of her life if she gets that attitude. What will she be like to work with if that's her attitude. Gross.

Sorry for digresion PC. All I could suggest for that issue is to either do as others have said and keep the clothes in another room for a while, or maybe do as we did with toys, and threaten that stuff that's left out by bedtime will go in a bin bag for charity! If your ds is so interested in his clothes that he wants to change a few times a day, that might work?

Anna8888 · 08/09/2007 20:23

Xenia - it is not parental common sense to bring up children to be waited on hand and foot, whether that be by parents or by servants or anyone else.

My stepsons have a full-time nanny and sometimes I complain that they are used to being waited on... but nothing of that order .

Yes, your daughter's position, given the appalling way she's been brought up, might be logical, but it is you who have the responsibility for putting her in that position.

Anna8888 · 08/09/2007 20:25

Plus she's almost 23 and still living at home... which is also pretty shocking... but that's an aside.

Donk · 08/09/2007 20:29

Child proof catches? Do you know of any that are DS proof? He has coped with every catch we've thrown at him so far in the kitchen.... (seems overkill to get a new chest of drawers with locking drawers)

Donk · 08/09/2007 20:33

Xenia - its kids like that at school who drop all their paper bits on the floor (after an exercise involving cutting and sticking such as making a skeleton) - and are amazed when you tell them off, and say its the cleaner's job to clean it up! So what are the next 6 classes supposed to do? Wade through your mess, because the cleaner only comes in the evening?
Drives me bloody mad!

Judy1234 · 09/09/2007 12:45

I don't think any child of mine wuld ever drop litter. What teenagers and 20 somethings do in their own bed rooms is up to him. Just wait until you've had your own teenagers for a few years before you comment on those things. She's still studying, she's not earning, she's lived away for 3 years and works very hard. She's worked abroad all summer. I am perfectly happy she lives at home for this year. It's the most sensible decision. Some of the 5 children are naturally tidy and others aren't. Same with adults. Its' when couples live together where one is tidy and the other isn't you get rows and problems. You need to match like with like. I'm amazed anyone is shocked that anyone might in a rush empty about half a cubboard and leave it there because they're rushing out.

Anna8888 · 09/09/2007 13:24

People (crucially children and husbands as you so ceaselessly remind us...) learn not to tip out cupboards onto the floor when they have to take responsibility for their own mess and are not enabled by others (another of your favourite terms) to not take responsibility .

HonoriaGlossop · 09/09/2007 16:41

exactly Anna. Leaving it when you're rushing out - ok. But looking at it when you come in, and deciding to STILL leave it because mum and dad's cleaner can do it. Yuck.

Not all of us have had teenagers, no, but as far as I can gather ALL of us have BEEN them, and that behaviour would not have been acceptable in us, either.

Judy1234 · 09/09/2007 18:52

Yes but come on all of us who aren't the lowest poit in the food chain (housewives doing your own cleaning etc) delegate all the time. Why is this any different from normal delegation?

We don't any of us generally leave the house in a state for the cleaner actually but I don't do the cleaning and tidying in preparation for her visit. I didn't clean the windows today in anticipation the window cleaner was here today.

hotbot · 09/09/2007 19:06

bad form to not tidy up, but cleaner is paid to clean for a certain amount of hours, so in preference if i was cleaning her house i would tidy up dds room in preference to the bog

does ds get his choice of clothes to wear or do you pick them out?

Anna8888 · 09/09/2007 19:24

Manners, Xenia. One is not a superior human being because one earns more money than others, one is a superior human being because one behaves well, towards oneself and others. Where are you anticipating your daughter learn this lesson if she hasn't learnt it at home - at her first divorce?

HonoriaGlossop · 09/09/2007 20:11

"lowest point in the food chain"...Talking about other human beings in that gross way really does show the quality of thinking going on in that house. No wonder throwing stuff about and leaving it seems normal. I'm off from this little debate because it's utterly, utterly pointless.

I'm just glad my points of view and experiences don't lead me to talk or think about other people in that way.

Sorry again about the digression PC, don't know how useful this thread has been!

thegardener · 09/09/2007 20:19

Can you empty the draws and put clothes in the wardrobe or on a shelf and just leave a few things for him to turf out?
We did this with ds (12 months or so at the time)and have carried on as he still occasionally likes to empty the draw, he has now started in the sideboard.... so it's a case of doing the same again i think

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