Why does my dd1 become a different girl when she is back at school?

[Beauregard]

Every holiday has been the same since she started school last year.
During the holidays she is very well behaved ,obedient ,very easy to be around and as soon as she gets back to school we have the temper tantrums and disobedience.

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mine is 12 and exactly like yours pelvic

Oh so i may have many years of this then?

Tiredness?

I'd say a combination of tiredness, more intense work/concentration and being good all day at school.I also find that I am more relaxed during the holidays - no school runs/homework/everything squeezed into the evening - so have more energy to deal wtih unacceptable behaviour if it happens.

DD can be this way too, and she's 6.5. I think tiredness and being 'good' are definitely factors as others have mentioned.

But, I've also wondered if it's something to do with not 'needing' me as much when she has experience of social interaction at school, a routine/schedule not dictated by me, different authority figures, stimulation/learning from other adults, etc. Perhaps it is far easier for her to be dismissive/rude to me when she has her 'own life' outside of home. In the summer break, her life at home is her life, and I am her main companion. In her eyes, in term time (at least during the week), I become the facilitator for her other life - chauffeur, food provider, laundry person, social coordinator, bath/bedtime dictator, morning alarm clock (not exactly the fun/interesting stuff). Plausible or rubbish theory?

yes some of it could be down to tiredness,i get the feeling that she resents us for sending her though.Yesterday and today dp and i were treated to a rendition of "I hate this family,being at home, but i loveeeeeeee school"

The latter is said for effect because we know she would rather be at home.
She is 5!

Earlybird-You could be onto something there.

ooh pelvic, bet that pulled at the old heart strings, and boy do little girls know how to tug them! My Mum once told my teacher(who she worked with) that i used to be such a nice little girl until I started school. Teacher replied that I had to get evil to keep up with the other little madams in my class. If it helps, when my DD was that age, I used to tell her I didn't want my horrible little "DD" in the room anymore, please take her upstairs and bring the nice "dd" back down. Sometimes they need a way of being nice again without losing face so to speak. It worked for us.

Yes just a bit ,although i realise it is just said for effect,it has taken me a while to realise that her behaviour is school related.

Agree with tiredness, copying peer behaviour and everything being scheduled + parental stress at having to get the show on the road by a certain time in the morning and the same (but in reverse) in the evening...

same with my dd (4 yrs). starting to dread the period of time from 3.30 pm to bathtime. She's too tired to do anything too challenging but too wired up to settle down ...

Also, perhaps with older child, it's the realisation that school happens EVERY week day ...

Then on top of that we all feel guilty and stressed because they are strung out and on it goes ....

Tis hard ...