10 months and constant whining. I am going insane please help!

[Tinasan]

My dd is 10 months old and for the past fortnight or so has been really difficult to look after. I'm on my own all this week (dh working away) and I think I'm at the end of my tether.

• during the day she won't let me out of her sight and wants to be in my arms all the time. If she's not she climbs up the back of my legs and whines and whines and whines until I pick her up.

• she won't nap unless she's on my bed with me. She also wants to bf constantly throughout the nap, if I try to stop she goes nuts.

• she won't go down to sleep at night in her cot. I stay with her to soothe her off to sleep but it seems to make her more mad.
  She wakes in the night at least twice. She's never slept really slept through but now it's taking her ages to go back to sleep.

Is it something I'm doing wrong? I'm crying as I type, I'm so exhausted and fed up. Does anyone have any advice on what to do to maker her happy? She has always been fairly demanding but never like this.

Poor Tinasan! You should physically and emotionally wrecked at the moment. Knowing that it will get better doesn't really help right now though, does it?

Is she teething or going through a growth spurt at the moment?

Thanks Desiderata. I took her out for a walk this afternoon and took her to the Health Visitor. She thinks I need to be tough with her and leave her to cry - I'm not too sure. I think she is teething again, she just got her first teeth a week ago but I think more might be coming. Anyway she's fast asleep now (gave her some Medised) so fingers crossed for tonight.... This site is great for letting off steam and knowing that someone somewhere knows what you're going through!

Poor you tinasan sounds like a very rough time. I do agree with the HV to some extent about leaving her to cry Put some music on loud enough to be the main noise if necessary just so you don't have to listen for 20mins. for a break. If she is clean, fed, warm and safe it will do no harm for her to cry and put her in another room, take deep breaths to calm your self. I'm not saying you would, but situations where mums are at the end of their tether can result in a harmed baby. You need time out to collect your thoughts.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong in wanting to be there as her mum - in fact you are doing the absolute very best for her! But if you are about to go mad (we've all been there) then it's ok to put her down and walk away for a minute.

In all honesty, it sounds like she is probably going through a dodgy separation anxiety patch (due to teething or development) and it's unfortunate timing that you are on your own. Dd went through a weird one the other day and was really stressy and I got really stressy and in the end she got cbeebies, I had a cuppa and I stopped trying to do anything else! Was a nice day in the end. Nothing wrong with having a 'go with the flow' week/day(life?!)

But do definitely try to get out and about - there's nothing like a walk to get some milk to feel like you have actually achieved something and the fresh air does you both good.

Thanks for all your help. She's got a fever now so I'm taking her to the docs. Maybe she's been coming down with something all week. Tori - it's not that I don't agree with leaving her to cry (she will deffo be re sleep trained once she's better!), it's just that there seemed to be something else wrong with her....

My DD sounds exactly like yours, a horrific sleeper, and a difficult baby. I think its because theyre more sensitive than the average baby, and this has good and bad points. I keep telling myself, well see the bonuses in a few years when our daughters become senstitive, empathetic, thoughtful human beings, but right now, its difficult.
Its awful to lay there breastfeeding her to sleep, then just as you start to move away, she wakes up again. DOes it help if I say, my DD is 11 months now, and each week that passes is slightly easier than the week before, so just try to get through one day at a time, and if you manage to get through that day, youre one day closer to surviving. Youre going to be fine.
I think if you "sleep train" her it will make her separation anxiety in the daytime worse. Can you not just stick her in the car-seat and go for a drive somewhere in the daytime? Mine really relaxes at the park or at a coffee shop (Starbucks is her favourite because of all the action).
The good thing about your DH being away is that you don`T have to bother about housekeeping standards or cooking his dinner or anything (if you do those kind of things), so you can just relax for a while, forget about everything, take your baby out in the day, and just try to start enjoying her again.

Thanks Sakura - your daughter sounds just like mine! I've discovered why she has been so difficult though - she broke out in a rash at the weekend and the doctor thinks she has got the MEASLES. Poor thing, no wonder she has been so irritable. We are in London and the doctor said there's going to be a big outbreak because the vaccination rates are so low, and because she's only ten months she hasn't had the MMR yet. Luckily she seems to be coping, but I am now worried about all the other little babies she has been in contact with recently...