My DS (3.10 yrs old) completely showed me up in Supermarket

[ClareL]

My DS is a handful at the best of times. He is lovely in a lot of ways but is a nightmare sometimes. But today I completely lost the will to carry on trying with him. We went to the local supermarket to get salad for our tea so was in there for no more than 10 minutes but whilst I was queing up to pay he kept hitting me - saying he was smacking my bum - but he went on and on and on. I tried getting him to sit on the floor and telling him off and moved him away from me so tht I could get him to stop. But he thought it was a game we was playing and just kept coming back and doing it again. I was absolutely furious but you can't lose your rag at the tills in a supermarket. I dragged him to the car and really told him off and then sent him to his room the minute I got in. What makes a child do stuff like that??

Well, I suppose the flippant, but absolutely truthful answer is that being three is what makes him do stuff like that.
You sound like you are at the end of your tether, which is very understandable when you have a lively preschooler to cope with, but in itself he wasn't doing anything particularly unusual for a child of his age.
What he was doing was looking for attention and negative attention will do if positive isn't forthcoming. Next time, it might be better to try distraction, you know the sort of thing - please don't smack mummy darling, now shall we count how many things we've got in the shopping basket etc etc.
I think you also need to ask yourself why you found that particular behaviour so upsetting - was it what he was doing, where he was doing it, the fact that you were stressed anyway and it was the last straw...? I find very often I can manage to deal with my children's behaviour better if I consciously remind myself to separate how I deal with it from everything else that is going on in my head if you see what I mean.

Can sympathsise ClareL

DD2 did this to me in the library last year when she was 2 1/2. Rolling on the floor screaming, hitting me. Just had to drag her out.

Mortified!!

agree with Rosa. It's being three - he's just learning the social rules; we can't expect them to know it without learning. And it's boredom as well; supermarkets = utter boredom.

Not that you were dragging him round for an hour or anything! I think it's just instant boredom for them.

I must admit I tried at this stage to keep everything light and jokey with ds. I used to use tickling alot. In your situation it's worth trying something like "oh, every time your hands come up from your sides you get aaaaaaaa...TICKLE!" etc etc etc. You say yourself he turned it all into a game. Most three year olds, yup, that's what they're looking for. So give them games and silliness as much as you can, it turns the situation around amazingly.

Of course nothing works all the time, but I was amazed at how often ds being annoying like that could be turned round to him giggling, etc.

clare (and mintchips) it seems what is bothering you the most is that this is in public
try not to worry what other people are thinking
who cares what they are thinking?
you dont even know them

playing BOO in the supermarket (even behind a tin of beans) si what works for us

agree nailpolish, I have experienced moments of embarrassment and the like in shops, and I think it makes you want to be seen to DEAL with it and NOT be a mum whose child does this or that, you instinctively feel that people are judging you and thinking you're crap and your child is out of control!

A) it doesn't matter AT ALL what these strangers are thinking so don't let it pressure you and
B) 70% of them have either been there and are silently sympathising or have worse problems than you so have cravenly left their kids elsewhere!

A couple of times when mine have kicked off in shops a nice bystander has made a comment to them e.g oh what a noise etc (in a kind way) and it has completely shut them up!

I always try and do similar (without risking offence of course) and wouldn't it be helpful if others could do the same.

If your child is really kicking off a bit of distraction usually does the trick.

I know all the diversion tactics. But sometimes you just forget to use them . He has embarrassed me untold amounts of times in shops and I avoid it like the plague now (with him). I think it was the 6 weeks school hols and I'd just about had enough. He starts the school nursery on friday (5 sessions a week). Looking forward to getting my life back for 2.5 hours a day....