I feel like a circus act - you know, the one with the spinning plates, except all mine come crashing to the ground.

[Gingerbear]

How do I cope with bedtimes when DH is on late shift?

DS has just had his second lot of baby jabs and is crabby, hot and irritable - has not slept all day.
DD has just started back at school today, and NEEDS to be in bed by 8pm at the latest.
Not only that, but the house is a tip, the washing from this morning is still in the machine, the pots are unwashed and there is a pile of ironing as big as Everest to get through.

This evening has been sheer hell. I keep telling myself that at least I have a DH to do his share when he is on other shifts and should thank my lucky stars that I have, but honestly and truly today has been hideous.

Was it any better tonight Gingerbear?

hello Otherside,
slightly better, except I crashed out at 630pm with DS on our bed, to be woken up by DD at 8pm saying 'mummy, I need to go to bed now'

DS is asleep this morning, and I have just had my 15 minutes blitzing the kitchen and now relaxing on MN with a cuppa.

Don't worry, I've slept 'on the job' when youngest was a baby too. That was quite a long nap though! I'm impressed your DD left you that long. DS is 4.6 and would only leave me alone that long if I put a DVD on!

I didn't have much time to post earlier in the week but I did feel sorry for you that no one else responded. Have you found any tips on bedtime juggling on other threads?

The gap between my children is closer so I don't know what experience I have that would help?

Mine both get ready for bed at the same time ish. It can be hard chivvying them both along when I am on my own. (DH often home after 8 or on trips) I tend to spend a few minutes getting one to comply by which time the other has got distracted.

When DD was a baby I tended to get her in bed by 6.30 and then deal with DS. Could that work for you?

i find that time of day absolute hell. I NEVER have dh home at that time and have done it alone since ds was 1 day old (he turned 1yo yesterday . It is hard, sometimes incredibly stressful and I have an 8year gap. Somtimes I want to scream, throw stuff, swear my head off, get pissed but I rarely do despite feeling at boiling point. Weekends are rarely better. not very helpful I know but you arenot alone

Thank you both for the support. I know I am not alone in this, and wondered how others cope, as I am new to being a mum of 2!
DD is 5 and DS almost 4 months old.

I have tried bathing them both together, but afterwards I can't get DS into his cot at the same time as reading DD a story - and I feel guilty leaving her to put her PJ's on with a story CD instead of a hug and a kiss and a book like we did before DS arrived.

I have tried putting DS down earlier - letting DD play on the computer until he is asleep, or watching cbeebies, then it is her turn. It is working much better, but I still feel guilty leaving her to her own devices.

On a lighter note, I left Everest to DH - he is doing it right now as I mumsnet!

Try not to feel guilty. You can't possibly give your DD the kind of attention she had before but soon enough her brother will be fun for her to be with and she will benefit from having a sibling.

I went through a period of leaving DS to his own devices while getting DD bathed and to bed when she was a baby. He was just two and would have at least 45 mins of DVD on his own in the living room. He has always been very focused on the tv and never moved while I left him unattended. (I couldn't have done it if they had been born the other way round, completely different personalities) I felt so guilty and thought it would turn DS into a telly addict but there was really no option. I tried getting him involved in the bath routine with her but he just wanted to keep coming and going and it was winter and he kept leaving the bathroom door open and our hall is always cold. So I just concentrated hard on avoiding tv at other times of the day and told myself it was just a phase. The tiny baby bit doesn't last long when you look back at it.

Our routine

Get in from school - boys out in garden (4.5 and 16 months)

I cook tea.

Dish up at around 5.30

wipe down, or into bath, youngest has bottle and bed while I ditch 4 yo on computer or beebies. This takes us to about 7pm.

school book, jolly phonics, then stories.

that's about 7.45, then bed!