My baby doesn’t cuddle me

[Moonshine160]

This is probably completely normal but I just wanted to hear others’ experiences? My DS is 1 in two weeks time. He’s a little delight, very smiley, giggly and cheeky. However he doesn’t seem to like any sort of physical affection. He likes to be held if I’m stood up so he can look around the room, but if I try and kiss or cuddle him he just pushes me away. He has never been a cuddly baby at all. I can’t cuddle him to sleep or seem to soothe him in any way, for example if he’s crying in his cot and I go to him and stroke him or pick him up and cuddle him then he would just get more upset and try and wriggle away from me but calms down on his own. If I bring him onto my knee when I’m sat on the sofa then he’s so wriggly and tries to get away from me. He’s like this with everyone. He hasn’t shown any signs of separation anxiety so far, recently he’s been at the childminders for two days a week and she struggles to get him to sleep but I think thats environment related rather than from missing me, he doesn’t get upset when I’m not there and doesn’t seem to be that happy to see me when I collect him after work! - I know this probably sounds ridiculous but sometimes I feel a bit rejected or like he doesn’t love me. He’s not even 1 yet so I know it’s daft to think this way but has anyone else’s baby been the same? Might he grow to become ‘cuddlier’ as time goes on? I know I can’t change who he is and I love him all the same but I’m just desperate for snuggles from my little boy!

Mine was exactly the same! So much so that I was convinced she didn’t love me and I was a crap mum etc.
Fast forward a couple of years, and I now have a three year old that lavishes me with kisses when I leave to go to work, and comes to me asking for hugs, especially at bedtime where she loves to get me in to the chair in her room, curl up in my lap and asks me to stroke her hair whilst she cuddles me and we “chat”
It’s lovely!! But I honestly thought it would be a cold day in hell before she did stuff like that 😂😂

Mine is the same... especially is he is throwing a tantrum; he shoves me away! He occasionally puts his arms around me but that's often just before he tries to swipe my glasses of my face or something equally annoying. He's 16 months.

My little boy is 5 and I posted on here so many times feeling really upset as he was never affectionate, would rather whack me in the face than kiss or cuddle! I look back at my chat history on here and I posted many times about the exact same thing! When he turned 4yrs he did become more affectionate, he is still not the most cuddly but with me now he will say I love you mummy, and sit for cuddles at bedtime. It will come, just takes a little while for some. X

My DS was identical. I struggled with it massively but that may have also been due to PND. I felt rejected and convinced he had something wrong with him. I feel so sad writing that now as much more related to my poor mental state than reality.

Anyway DS is just over two now and in the last few months has become super cuddly! He’s like a different child honestly. He still doesn’t like to be constricted in any way (high chairs, car seats etc) but when he’s in the mood he will love to snuggle in. It’s so far removed from the stiff, uncuddly infant who used to purposefully lean back and away from my chest when I held him.

Am sure it will come in time :)

My second baby was a bit like this, particularly when it came to bedtimes - she settled better lying down by herself and just cried if I tried to settle her in my arms. The polar opposite of my first child! She does like a cuddle (she's 2.5 now), but definitely defends her personal space when she's not in the mood. I think of the two of them like a dog and a cat - the dog (DD1) wants affection and attention 100% of the time, whereas the cat (DD2) only wants it on her terms so it's better to wait for her to come to us.

I remember feeling similar to this! My little boy was never one for getting cosy on the sofa or in my arms unless he was being carried or BF. Like others this passed and he's so sweet and cuddly now! He is such a mummy's boy and all my dreams come true! Don't be hard on yourself, it will come ❤️