Please help me 😔

[Yorkymidge]

My son turned one, 3 weeks ago and for the past 2 weeks he has turned into a completely different baby, i’m really struggling.

He smacks, constantly. Me, his dad, anyone around him, items, the floor etc. He has real tantrums where he rolls around kicking and paddying. He’s biting and pulling hair. It’s come out of no where and has never been done in front of him before so i don’t know where he’s learnt it from. He’s going through a massive clingy stage where he cries for me and wont go to anyone else, even his dad which has also never happened before. People have always commented on how relaxed he is out in public/being held by other people and now i feel like i can’t go out. He loves swimming and today i took him to his lesson and he screamed the place down and refused to do anything. It’s only been 2 weeks and i’m at my wits end, i really don’t know what to do and can’t cope with the hours upon hours of screaming, crying and whining 😔 i don’t understand where this aggression has come from, he genuinely seems so angry and i don’t know what to do. He knows when he’s done something wrong because i give a firm “no” and then he gives me a kiss as if he’s saying sorry, he’s a very clever boy and ahead in his development so i know he understands me which just makes it even more frustrating.

Are you not able to ask him what is wrong? or why he is crying? or if anything is hurting? from 2.5YRs old, simple back and forth conversion starts developing and if he is already 3YRs old and you say that he is ahead in his development then I assume he is even further along in this respect and hence was just wondering if it's possible to just ask him? I mean, he is not screaming, crying and whining for the fun of it or because he is being naughty.

This may be a silly question but is he your first? Have you had any experience with toddlers?

All the behaviour you describe is normal and I don't think you can do anything other than practicing your methods of distraction. Swimming, meh at that age you don't need to go so if it persists stop taking him.

He's just growing don't worry about it too much and welcome to the toddler years, yes they totally suck, but they do end at some point

@AladdinMum he just turned 1, not 3, i think you mis-read haha

@NoKnit yes he is my first, but i’ve worked with babies and toddlers full time for 5 years and i’ve rarely come across anyone as bad! I feel like i’m at my wits end. I want him to learn swimming, he’s done it since he was 3 months old and usually loves it, and i don’t believe in stopping something because of his behaviour, especially since at one years old he doesn’t fully understand. I’m just completely drained.

@Yorkymidge oops! apologies, I did misread! it would have been incredibly advanced for a 1 year old to have back and forth conversations! :)

But you have to remember they are different around their own parents it is a different relationship. They see you differently to other nursery teachers, childminders etc.

I understand you want him to learn how to swim but he is only 1 year old, he's not going to be able to learn to swim properly for a good few years yet and taking him every week now isn't going to make a difference to when they start proper lessons at 4/5 years old. If he is screaming and it's causing you stress then why do it? Honestly this is easy for me to say but in a few years time you light wonder why you put yourself through it every week for something he didn't enjoy. Because he screams now doesn't mean he won't ever like going swimming.

@AladdinMum haha it’s not a problem

@NoKnit i think you’re misunderstanding my post. The swimming isn’t a problem, it’s the first time he’s made a fuss at swimming. It was more of an example that this is what he’s like all the time at the minute, even doing something he enjoys. I was more asking for advice on what to do with his behaviour, not how he spends his time, thank you

My son is 16 months old and we've had that sort of behaviour for a while now. Isn't it just the tantrum stage? I think for my son at least, a lot of it is down to sheer frustration. He has very strong ideas of what he wants to do, and gets very angry if I don't let him - he's just too little to understand logic and rationalizing and wants everything right this second! We've had this on and off - some weeks are better and some are worse. He seems pretty okay the past couple of weeks but still throws the occasional angry tantrum. It seems worse when he's teething - molars must be horrible!

My little boy is now 5 and has always been quite intense and feisty. He will outgrow it, it’s normal but nevertheless stressful I completely get how you are feeling. But to reassure you nothing to worry about. x

Could something be working on him - a virus, chicken pox or ear infection - they are out of sorts for a few weeks before chicken pox for example - as it seems a sudden change in behaviour