6 yr old misbehaving

[lyssie29]

Is say misbehaving but it's more being cheeky/answering back ALOT. She argues over everything. She lashes out at her younger sister. She's sometimes called me stupid and literally shouts in my face if i ask her do something she doesn't want to do. For example today I asked her to tidy her room just for 10 mins as you could barely see the floor. She started shouting at me saying she didn't want to etc. If she does it she gets her pocket money if she doesn't she gets nothing and she doesn't seem to care. Because of the way she's spoken to me she has also lost her time on the tablet later on too. How can I deal with this? I don't understand why she seems to have gotten so angry. She isn't like this at school or her clubs etc just at home.

How is she with you when you are giving her full attention of something she wants to do? Personally I think the pocket money thing is harsh for her age and it sounds like you just want her to obey you and do as you say. Sadly some 6 year olds don't work like that and they need lots of reassuring and attention. What do you do with her when you she isn't allowed her screen time for example? Are you sitting and playing cards with her, or reading? Or if you need to cook are you getting her involved and helping?

@NoKnit we spend a lot of time together. We read, go for walks, go to the park, we colour in together as I've got some of those adult colouring books which she also likes and lots more. She has a younger sister who's 4 and its just the 3 of us. Her dad died when she was 3. When she's not at school she's with me. Is it harsh to give pocket money if she tidies her room a bit? I don't ask for her to do it perfect or vaccum or anything just a general tidy up of toys for 10 minutes or so. We've been doing it for about a month and she was always pleased when she got her pocket money. She will be 7 in march I thought it would be good to start teaching her a bit about tidying up after herself as I've always done it for her. Is it too early to do this?

I'm not sure I guess almost 7 is a bit different to just 6 they do change a lot. But I don't think pocket money should be conditional. I don't know what you mean by can't see the floor in her bedroom but has she got a lot of things out that just overwhelm her? If you look at it from her perspective it could be quite a huge amount of work to do.

My son is 6 and I don't punish him when he speaks to me badly I just tell him that I don't like it. He is only expressing emotions. He also doesn't like it when I should at him (for like the 10th time) to put his shoes on /get dressed etc. He tells me that too and I think it is his right. So I try not to do it, we all try to stay calm and quite often it works better that way. Telling her you don't like the way she speaks isn't going to help, but making sure she knows you are very happy when she gets it right will. They are only 6 and still learning how to control their emotions properly so I don't think too much should be expected.

@NoKnit thank you. I'll back off a little bit then. I do try not to yell at her but maybe she thinks I'm being too harsh.

She has a lot of energy and she plays games in her room, makes forts etc gets all of her books out for her dolls when playing games etc. She doesn't have a huge room and so it doesn't take alot for her toys to literally cover her floor. I'm trying to get her to learn to tidy up her own things. That once she's finished playing with it she should put it back away. Just generally putting her dolls and books away for example. They do at school why not at home? To be honest her pocket money is only a pound and its only used for sweets which either way she gets anyway.

I've been trying the gentler approach and letting things go a bit more and it does seem to have worked a little bit

Good luck it's a tough job, feel like I'm going to crack up some days

It is not too early to teach her to tidy up, but it might be better to make the initial learning fun rather than something that brings punishment. Make it a game, race each other, make it part of a make-believe story.