No sleep loosing my mind

[atomicblonde30]

Just that really, I don’t know what to do anymore so have come here for help.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and since she was a tiny baby’s she’s never slept, for example would nap for 10/20 mins at a time then be up for 7/9 hours plus just screaming the house down nap again for 10/20 mins and so on. She was a very difficult baby and I really struggled with her baby months.

Fast forward to now and she now doesn’t nap at all but also now doesn’t sleep at night anymore, the day crying has stopped but I dread the nights from the minute I put her to bed it’s horrific demonic screaming until the early hours for reference the police have been called by people on the street several times its so bad which is humiliating even though they were very kind. It’s nearly 2am now so she’s been going for 6 hours which is not unusual, last night it was 4am. She wakes early too around 7 so she’s not getting any sleep whatsoever though seems to not be at all tired.

I’ve done everything the GP and HV have said and we’re currently being supported by MAST because my mental health is rocky and it’s also affecting my son at school he’s not sleeping enough because of her and his emotions are all over the place because of the uncertainty surrounding his nights, I’m a SW so I know what support to access but honestly it’s not getting any better and I just can’t take it anymore. But before all that I’m a single mum of three who is on her arse, her dad won’t take her at night so there’s no respite and I’m just so exhausted my mental health is shot to pieces and I just dread every single day.

It’s not like I can leave her alone either because she headbuts or kicks the door so hard she’s took it off it’s hinges, throws herself off furniture, destroys her books and toys etc. So I have to monitor her to ensure she’s safe and not hurting herself so all night every night I’m in and out of her room whilst trying to take care of an 8 month old baby and my older son too.

I don’t even know what the point to this is but I just needed to get it off my chest, I’m so so tired and the crippling dejection of yet another night like this alongside the fear I may have to deal with this for the foreseeable future is nothing short of suffocating.

That must be so, so hard. I think MN is good for support but I think you need professional help OP.

I'd do the m-chat test and see what her score is. Have you filmed her at night too?

If not, I'd film what's going on, then book a double appointment at your Gap and insist on a referral to a Paed.

Good luck OP

Your situation would have broken most women, you should be so, so proud of coping (well, surviving) until now. Seriously, I wouldn't have coped with 3 in your situation, you have done so well already.
However you need help.

Help as in, practical and in-home support,not a hand hold.

First things first, has she been tested and checked for any medical issues? (Allergies that affect behaviour, urinary tract infections, obvious stuff that might be causing her pain or influence her mood).

Second, have you considered keeping a vv short factual diary of your typical week? The purpose is two fold: as a factual reference so you can start getting in help and people can see how unsustainable this is (e.g. can you get in HomeStart mother's helpers? Is there a local church that volunteers could offer time, even if it's 1hr a week to take your oldest away to the park if they wouldn't cope with your younger two could provide you and him with some comfort).

Third, what parenting techniques or interventions have you tried? I know it's all well and good me saying to read this book or that, but a quicker option would be to watch TV shows showing similar extreme parenting situations (example: www.channel4.com/programmes/train-your-baby-like-a-dog which covered a 14 month old bad sleeper in it called Dulcie, or one of the nanny shows)

Also the referral to paediatric support via your GP is a given, you need to push and articulate the affects on you, her and your other children here, the journal/diary might help.

Ask your GP about trying her on melatonin supplements too. In other countries they're available over the counter but the UK is odd , I've no idea how you'd buy some or maybe get a prescription but friends (American) swear by them.

I know you’ve probably tried this too, you will no doubt have tried everything, but for your older DS would earplugs help at all? Can his Dad Hace him more so that he gets some good stretches of sleep?

How's it going op?