3yo won't listen!

[sophieg345]

Shock I know... but when I say won't listen I mean literally will not do anything I tell him. Hits out if I dare tell him no, road safety is non existent. If he goes near the oven and I say no it's hot, he'll just touch it for fun. He doesn't know right from wrong at all. It's really getting me down, he hits out if he doesn't get his own way.. he's nearly 3 years old and things just seem like there going to get worse

Do you mean he chooses not to listen when he is getting into things he knows he shouldn't be touching, i.e. on purpose? or do you mean that he doesn't understand what you say to him, i.e. is unable to follow simple instructions?

He cannot follow instructions, he's had hearing tested that came back fine. He literally sees no danger. I said to him today after a scare on the road 'do you want to be ran over and be in the hospital' he just laughed and said yes 😖

My d is 3 1/2yo and I have/had a similar issue. The only thing to do is repetition and your firm, calm parent voice and obviously be on your guard for danger. Mine is still being trained out of her behaviour and it's been almost a year now since I started.
She still thinks is funny to hit people sometimes and has in the past done and said the same thing your son did with the road. I've still got a lot of things I'm working on with my d so I might not be the best responder, but so far, with persistence i have seen improvement.

A three year old unable to follow simple instructions because of delays in receptive language is concerning. How does he communicate with you to meet his needs and to share interests? how did he do in his 2YR wellness appointment?

@AladdinMum his 2 year check went really well, he's able to communicate all his needs etc, he talks really well (although nursery have referred him to speech and language as he chooses not to talk there) he passed a hearing test so they don't think it's that. He's just generally badly behaved, makes me wonder if it's something I've done 😔

Oh I see, I think I am getting confused by your use of language, in your previous comment you said "he can't follow instructions" implying that he is unable, however you are saying that he is able to follow instructions (i.e. he can understand them) but chooses not to.

@AladdinMum he doesn't understand the full extent no. If I say hold my hand across the road he will say no. He doesn't understand why he needs to hold my hand but knows what holding hands means so he is able to do it so yes I guess he chooses not to. But he doesn't realise the dangers of what could happen if he didn't hold my hand. If that makes sense.

I don't think many almost 3 year olds really understand that they could be hit and killed by a car, sorry

Have you tried distraction? My DS is 3 in June and also pushing it with doing things I say no to- I try to limit those to purely safety. And if they won't hold hands to cross the road, you don't let them get to that situation. Reins/ pushchair/ carrier. They won't like it but your job to keep them safe. Fortunately DS is very good about holding hands in car parks/ near roads to be safe and we're starting to think about 'are there any cars coming etc' so he is focused

There is also a lack of impulse control at this age.

I think danger is a difficult concept at 3 as they don't really get into danger because we work hard to protect him from it. I've said to my 3 year old the idea he'll need to go to hospital but to him that's quite a fun thing to do.

I'm sure but I'm thinking immediate consequences of not listening when you really need him to, like when crossing the road. Pick your battles to a couple of behaviour changes at a time. And only threaten things like we'll go home if you really mean it.