10 month old only wants to be held by parents

[onetwothreeadventure]

My 10 month old is not happy (read screams the house down) if anyone other than DH or I hold her. Even my mum, who has seen her at least every 2 to 3 days since she was born, elicits the same response from her. She'll also scream hysterically if I put her in the playpen and run to the bathroom. It's been going on for months, actually I can't remember a time it didn't happen aside from when she was a tiny baby. I have a 2 year old and haven't experienced anything similar with them.

For context, she'll happily potter about the playroom when I'm in it and follows her sibling to try and muscle in on whatever they are playing with. She is totally fine being left with my husband, including overnight, without me. However, if my mum and I were in the room and I walk out she will scream hysterically as soon as she notices until I return. Same if anyone apart from DH and I hold her. She sleeps in her own room and seems comfortable waking up alone now that she is used to it.

I've tried leaving for short periods of time and returning so she knows I'm not leaving. I've tried dropping her off at my mum's for an hour so she doesn't see or hear me in the background. It didn't make any difference. She's the same with everyone from strangers to grandparents. We're out and about loads so she sees people all the time and she's really smiley with everyone when they are a distance.

Has anyone experienced this? What can I do? I thought it was separation anxiety but I read that it should only last a short time and this has been continuous since she's become aware of who is around. I don't really know what to do to try and help the situation.

This is my DD, she’s 8 months! Everything you have put is her, she sees my mum 3 times a week and will not be left, however I am due back to work soon and she will be going to Nursery a few days a week, I have been visiting with her for 3 times a week, then she had done short days, every time she has got better and better. So my advice is leave her with your mum for an hour, do the same thing again then next day or the day after ( don’t leave too long of a gap, then repeat, gradually increasing time if you need to, say is she will be looking after her while you are at work). Also with my DD I have found if I am in the room or DH she will always prefer to go to us, so even if she does build a relationship with your Mum she will still want to be with you over your Mum, if that makes sense.

My DS 11 months isn't quite this bad but he basically doesn't like many people other than DH and I! Sometimes he even cries if strangers talk to him! He's been like it since about 5 months, he's ok if he has the chance to warm up or if he knows no one is going to try and pick him up eg sat in a cafe in a high chair. But the minute my sister or anyone asks for a hold he kicks off! He's at nursery one day a week and cries every time DH or I leave him there, but I think he's generally ok as he's formed a bit of a bond with his key worker. It has to be done sadly!