5/6 year old not listening to group instructions

[legoeverywhere1982]

I've noticed my son is often not really listening/paying attention to his football coach, swimming teacher and wonder how normal this is for the age? He's not disruptive but I often see him looking the other way for example and not following the instruction.

Has he passed his hearing tests in the past? Have you checked he can hear?

If he appears not to be listening, have you asked him afterwards what was said to him? My DS has a rather annoying habit of appearing to not be paying any attention but can tell you word for word what was said.

His hearing was tested at school last year and all good. He does pay attention some times but it is very frustrating when he doesn't! No amount of speaking to him before the session seems to make any difference, sometimes its worse as he then keeps looking at me to see if I'm watching . It's hard to know if he heard or not as I think they all seem to copy each other in these group sessions!

It sounds like maybe you're distracting him by being there - could you maybe leave him to it and then check back in with the coach afterwards to see how it went?

Yes might be an idea, often the coaches don't seem to pull him up as he's not disruptive. I think if they did then he would be a lot better as he hates being told off! Parents eve at school soon so will ask how he gets on there, nothing has been mentioned by school before so wondering if it's nothing out of the ordinary or if he does need some extra help with listening in these situations?

My son has the same thing but after some investigation from the specialist they said the problem is in the short memory as he won't retain many instructions he need more visuels things. If you ask him to do many things at time whoul he remember?

That is quite interesting, how did you come to have a specialist check, where did you go? Were there other signs that stuck out?

When he was 3 he wasn't talking fluently yet at school they said because we are trilangual he is confused but when I had my second I realised that something is not normal. He was pointing at thing instead and he would have tantrum because I can't understand him. But then later at school he struggled to learn alphabet. Then I was very concerned I had a meeting with the senco they put his name on waiting list for education assessment on the other hand I saw a private speech therapist who gavee report and with that report I went to gp

Thank you for the info.

Hi @legoeverywhere1982 just wondering if you have an update on this? My DS is 6 and the same.

Hi, yes no real update apart from it’s not a problem for my son now at age 7.5. He listens well at football training and his teacher says he listens and follows instructions in class, and can work independently at school. I think it must’ve been a phase he was going through.

Thanks for the update @legoeverywhere1982 that’s really good to hear.

Was your son not listening in school as well during the phase? My DS is similar with the looking away / fidgeting when his teacher is giving group instructions, although he’s usually ok when it comes to actually doing work.

School never made.me aware of any concerns and in his reception school report I remember they gave him a mark 'above expected' for listening and paying attention! I was quite surprised at the time!

Wow! Well done him. My DS definitely doesn't have that!