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Help with Son's Disgusting Behaviour

6 replies

TheRugbyValkyrie · 07/02/2020 13:49

My youngest son is now 14.
About 2 years ago I started noticing a very strong smell in one of the built-in cupboards in the living room. I cleaned it out, but couldn't get rid of the smell. I eventually identified it as urine. I blamed Jack, our dog.

A few months later I was helping my son pack up his bedroom so we could do a bedroom swap.
I was in the corner under his high bed, when again, the overwhelming smell of urine. This time it was clear it couldn't be Jack, as he wouldn't have been able to access that corner.

I was so shocked, I was utterly speechless. He had bundled up one of the rugs into the corner and had been peeing there. Obviously it soaked through, through the floorboards and into the cupboard.

Fast forward approximately 9 months and I notice a damp patch on the front room ceiling. I went into my son's new room to investigate. At the bottom of his bed was a shallow plastic tub that my son had been peeing in.

This time I was steaming angry and banned him from all devices, including television, for a month.

I noticed that he was using an old 2l coke bottle, until I again, had words.

Yesterday, collecting dishes and glasses from the kids rooms, I found 2 pint glasses, nearly full of pee.

I spoke to our GP about it, when I first discovered the problem.
Our toilet is downstairs.
My son wasnt dry at night until he was about 10 and says that by the time he wakes up, it's too late to get to the toilet, otherwise he will have an accident.

Thank you for reading this far.
Please help, I'm at my wits end.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ScatteredMama82 · 07/02/2020 14:15

What did the GP say? I can't imagine he is doing this out of choice. Before you punish him, get to the GP and have it investigated. He's hiding it because he is embarrassed perhaps?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/02/2020 18:38

Could you put something in his room like a bucket and empty it in the morning?

I think it needs investigating though. At that age he should have time to make it downstairs and if not, I'd want the doctor to find out why.

hennyspennys · 07/02/2020 18:46

Your attitude is appalling, your son had a problem with being dry and night and now he's waking up needing to go which is good but he can't get down there in time. Rather than being so horrible to him and also posting it on MN then why not try helping your son?

If he knows he can't get there in time then what you should be doing is putting his mind at rest and providing a suitable lidded container and getting him help from a GP, the appropriate consultant and discussing if he has an underlying medical condition and looking at what, if any, medication is appropriate. By treating him like this then you are going to be making him feel awful and making him stressed and making the problem worse.

AuntieDolly · 07/02/2020 20:41

Has he got a gaming console in his room?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/02/2020 09:20

Has he got a gaming console in his room

This could be another reason for doing what he’s doing.

Whether he has a gaming addiction or a medical problem which means he can’t make it to the toilet on time, he needs help and your first port of call is the GP.

I can’t see that punishing him is going to help the situation or your relationship with him.

Jess827 · 08/02/2020 19:52

Why are you angry, punishing him?
If he's saying he can't get to the bathroom in time, can he swap so he's nearest, or get a bucket without shame while you support him to get GP help..?

Unless you think he's doing it spitefully or is lazy/can't be bothered, you need to support him into figuring out what the solution looks like... This must be extremely embarrassing for him at this age even if he didn't have the past shame/your attitude to deal with!

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