My 3.5 yr old DS has turned into an emotional wreck.....

[happypiglet]

DS1 has developed a habit of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat.
Other than having DD 6w ago nothing else in his life has changed.
Everything seems to make him cry, DS2 being too 'rough' (trying to hold his hand etc!), not being able to get his shoes on, etc etc.
Today he cried because we had to leave church as they were locking it up! He didn't want to go home- usually he doesn't want to go full stop!! We had a full 20 minutes of crying. Its not tantruming its proper upset crying.... so its hard to ignore...
My DH is being driven mad and keeps telling DS1 to 'stop being soft' which I hate but am not sure how to tackle either of them to be honest.
I know he should have more time with me but to be honest juggling a 3.5 yr old, 2 yr old and 6w old means I have little time for any of them.....
What would you do... ignore, jolly him along, ???
And what do I say to DH? I don't want DS1 growing up thinking its 'soft' to cry but neither do I want him crying at the drop of a hat.

I think you need to explain to your dh that your ds is too young to reason with himself or snap out of it. There is a new baby on the scene, so whereas he was once the baby, now he's having to be a big boy and it's frightening for him. Ask your dh to help out by spending more time with him. Or perhaps your dh could mind the baby whilst you go on a special trip, just you and him. Buy him something special just for him.

He'll come round but it's hard to adjust to changes in the family. He's just unsure as to where he fits in now.

it does sound like he is upset - at having his life/family changed by the arrival of dd. Nothing surprising or unusual in that. Can you try and include him as much as possible - ask him to bring you the nappies etc for each nappy change, pass you the cotton wool balls, put the nappy in the bin etc.. little things like that?

Can dh take them swimming or spend lots of quality time with him and DS2?

i think he will stop crying once he feels more stable. Was he worried about you when you went into hospital? My DD1 is 3.5 and understands everything that's going on.

Best of luck x