4 year old not going to the toilet

[kej75]

Please can someone give me some advice, or tell me that this is normal behaviour.

DD is 4, she will be going to school in September and when we are at home she keeps refusing to go to the toilet even though she is desperate. This afternoon she even said she just didn't want to go. She has been dry since about 26 months but is not dry at night (not too worried about that yet). We are however getting increasingly frustrated with her that she won't go and then wets herself. I always say I will come with her etc. but she still refuses.

Any suggestions?

I think this is pretty normal sort of stuff.

dd2 is 3,5, she wont poo in the lavatory. I told her yesterday that pants are not for pooing in, she just calmly said "yes they are"

ds2 used to go to the loo but not pull his pants up, the first french words he learned were "pull your pants up!" from the teacher at school in france.

I guess that she will probably just start going again once she gets to school, and gets a load of new things to be interested in. your role meanwhile is to grit your teeth and pretend you arent bothered. and send plenty of spare pants in with her

My ds is still rubbish with the toilet, even though he was out of nappies just before 3. He's 4.2 now and going to school next week. We've tried a variety of reward systems with him as this has been going on for about 8 months now. The best success was with money (!) - a coin in his money box at the end of a completely dry day, which he gets to spend on Saturdays.

I think it's a control thing. He knows I can't make him do it. If I push him on it he just digs his heels in. Some children use refusal to eat in the same way.

My approach now (don't manage this 100%!)is not to keep asking him if he needs the toilet - he has to tell me. We do have times when he has to go - leaving the house and before meals, which eliminates some accidents. If he wets himself I don't comment but if he wants to get changed I tell him to go and find dry pants, then let him change himself.

At nursery he hasn't been too bad, probably because they are toileted regularly, so you may find that's the case at your dd's school.

1st thing - don't worry about it too much as school will help.

Sometimes though we r plagued with these baby things like potties ,,,both of my boys hated them really - the baby toilet seat never worked either.

WHAT DID WORK was a plastic toilet seat with stand attached I bought off a car boot - one of the best things I ever bought - for 50p - they don't seem to sell them anymore though - used to be in Argos- gave mine to a friend.

It's basically like a little ladder to the toilet with handles at the top which gives them confidence up & down coz they r little people trying 2 b big like u

Forgot to say..

Some kids want their privousy earlier than others so you have to respect & understand that & work your way around it if that is the case x