what age do you teach them to use fork/spoon themselves? clueless 1st timer mum of 11 month old

[Gemmitygem]

DS has stuff spoon fed to him and also picks things up and eats them himself, about half and half. He's nearly 11 months. He loves his food. I just wondered if I should be trying to get him to feed himself with a spoon or whatever. He finds it very funny if I put his hand on the spoon and pretend he's controlling it, but he hasn't tried to eat using it, he will always try to get food using his hand (understandably!)..

any tips appreciated. It's not a problem but just wondering when I should start encouraging it..

Give him a spoon to hold whilst your feeding him. And once he's got the hang of it, be very brave, strip him down to his nappy, give him a yoghurt and stand well back!

i agree with maureen; give it a go but be prepared for the mess!! my dd is 12 mo and has played with a spoon for a few months now - she cant load it but if i load it, she taakes it from me and stuffs it in her mouth. we have to have two spoons for every yoghurt as she has to hold one while i'm loading the next one up!good luck and enjoy the mess!

Wait another 6-12m and you'll get less mess.

But if you are not bothered about teh mess start anytime - like Maureen says.

p.s. DD3 (16m hasn't been given a spoon yet and we have no intention of doing so for a good couple months+)

I'm told if you give them a spoon in one hand and a piece of bread in the other, it stops the 'hand shovelling food in gob madly' effect. But haven't tried it yet.

My ds now 14 months has gradually started "wanting" the spoon more and more . No hand to food co-ordination mind you and he usually grabs it off me with such gusto that the kitchen will need re-decorating again soon. I think they all find their way to the spoon in their own time. I'm sure you find that they don't do anything they don't want to....!

I didn't teach either of mine as such. I just laid it out. Because I was eating with them, using cutlery, they saw what I was doing and got the hang of it in the end!

I agree with Slightly to wait and not worry about it. By all means give him a spoon but don't worry about teaching him - it'll happen and it'll happen with much less mess if you wait!
Ds really started using the spoon himself at around 17 months or 18 months but took to it straight away so we just skipped months of mess and ended up in the same place we would have done anyway

At dinner time, we both had a spoon from when he was about 12/13 months. TBH he didn't start using it properly until about 14 months when he started at nursery. In fact, after his first day at nursery, I was told by one of the nursery assistants.."he really should be feeding himself by now...we have got other kids to feed as well, you know!" Needless to say, I was mortified and p'd off to think he could have been left to struggle on his own! He soon got the hang of it though... just as well really, otherwise he may well have starved if left to that particularly nursery assistant...BITCH!

I think we avoided giving DTDs a spoon until 2yrs+ (bad mummy, but couldn't imagine the mess younger). I know they were feeding themselves yoghurt at nursery first which we were shocked by and they were ~20m when they started nursery.

my dd is 11 months too. she is part spoon fed, part finger foods and tea times she is often given food to eat herself in her high chair which is all hands - there is a spoon present if she wants to use it and occasionally she does.

dd will also try to grab our cups, dishes etc to play with them . we were thinking of getting her a tea set for her birthday as she sits for ages with a spoon and bowl pretend feeding herself and drinking. this may encourage it through play. do you all eat together as the best way to teach her is just for her to see you and family members doing it.

Well, I'm just reaching the point of absolutely insisting on it with DD1, who is five years old

On the other hand, DD2 has been very competent with fork and spoon since about 15 months and is starting to use a knife.

Just to illustrate the fact that it's hugely variable between children of different temperament and motor skills.

At 11 months, I'd provide a spoon and see what happens. Just to see if he has the skill and inclination. But don't stress if he doesn't.

Mind you, it's rather nice when you get to the stage that you can just put the food and cutlery down and get on with your own meal!

Also, as soon as he shows any sign of competence, get some decent kids cutlery including a fork with metal points. Bluntish, obviously. It's a LOT easier than plastic.

You are very lucky. From 10 months DS refused to allow me to feed him (other than breakfast and pudding) so everything was self-fed (either with fingers or spoon) so spag bol, stew etc.

dd, 20 months, loves her fork and spoon and has done since she was about one. it's probably in the last few months that she's become really competent and neat but she still uses her hands as well. she was better with a fork in the beginning, more fun to spear stuff i think.

Ds3 at 2.8 is very fussy about exactly which spoon should be used, mostly only his teletubbies one is acceptable.
Ds2 has dyspraxia and has to be reminded to use a knife and fork, he is still very clumsy with cutlery at 8.

Around about now? That's when we did it anyway. Tis funny watching them miss and mess. They soon pick it up though.

i think my cousins were about 14/15 months. my ds is 14 months and he can get the spoon in his mouth but he keeps putting the wrong end in and nearly choking himself to death!!

thanks everyone! Well, I've bought him some cutlery designed for the child to use rather than the parent, and will just let him do it whenever, leave the option open! He's just taken to brushing his teeth himself (or kind of!) so we'll take it one thing at a time....