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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Still wont poo without a nappy on - What can I do?

11 replies

kbaby · 30/08/2007 13:06

DD has been pottytrained since jan and is dry day and night. The problem is shes always had a big thing about no one seeing her when she poos and has always hid. Since potty training she will not poo without a nappy on. Ive tried star charts, bribery and anything else. She says she wants a poo and then I have to put a nappy on her and she goes in her bedroom for a poo and calls when shes done to be changed.
Mil thinks its because she doesnt have the patience to sit on the toilet so I tried giving her books to look at etc.

Ive seen the HV who just said she will do it in her own time and dont worry but how much longer do I let it go on for? I could end up with a 5yr old in nappies.
BTW shes 3yrs 3 months.
Desperatly need some advice from others who may have experienced similar.

Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Lovecat · 30/08/2007 13:08

No advice but watching for answers. My 2.6 yr old is the same - goes hysterical if I suggest to her that she try the loo or potty instead of a nappy, but otherwise dry. Bribery not worked... hope someone can help!

Original poster

kbaby · 30/08/2007 13:24

Does your lo poo standing up? One theory I have is because shes never sat down to do it it feels odd to her to sit on the toilet.

OP posts:

ProjectIcarusinhercar · 30/08/2007 13:38

potty in her room? Potty in the bathroom with a laptop with a dvd on so she sits and waits maybe.

my dd1 did this she always stood to poo but not in private. And she has only been potty trained for a year and I cannot remember how we cracked it

i think bribery and tv played a part though.

Lovecat · 31/08/2007 08:33

Can't answer for kbaby, but for dd, she crouches when she poos and asks me for a nappy precisely 1 minute before the poo arrives. Consequently it's not like she's in nappies per se, it's just that she won't countenance the idea of doing it on a potty or loo.

In my case I actually blame an incident when we were in the park not soon after potty-training and the loos there were really skanky - she suddenly urgently needed to poo, but became quite distressed at having to sit on the nasty park loos - although she pooed successfully, she's never done it without a nappy since.

Sorry for hijacking...

Original poster

kbaby · 05/09/2007 11:02

Anyone else have any ideas or experience?

OP posts:

witchandchips · 05/09/2007 11:10

think it is really quite common so don't worry too much.
think it is good idea to allow her to go in private so put potty in her room.
Another thing that might work if you can bear it is for her to watch you go. Talk to her while you are on the loo and show her what you have done and then get her to flush it away. Once she knows that it is normal she might not be so scared.

WigWamBam · 05/09/2007 11:19

In all likelihood, you won't end up with a five year old in nappies. But really, would it be the end of the world if you did? She's not in nappies all the time; knows when she needs a poo and is happy to ask for a nappy; if you relax and leave it at that for a while, she will get there in her own time.

It's a really common problem, and I hadn't realised just how common until I started posting about it on MN. I've posted about my dd before; it took nearly 18 months after she was dry in the day before she would use the toilet for a potty. She would become hysterical at the mere mention of the word toilet, and we tried everything - until we realised that all we were doing was putting pressure on her, and the more pressure we put on, the more she refused.

I firmly believe that children don't only need to be physically ready, they also need to be emotionally ready. My dd wasn't for a long while after she was physically ready, and it sounds as if your daughter may be the same.

We tried bribery, star charts, sitting her on the toilet with a nappy on - you name it, we tried it. Nothing worked - other than time and patience, and us easing up on her until she was ready to do it herself.

CountessDraculaPI · 05/09/2007 11:22

Well as of yesterday I have a 5yo who still poos in nappies!

I try not to worry about it but I do

I try not to let her see I worry about it as I am convinced that she will do it in her own time (her paediatrician concurs)

naughtynoonoo · 05/09/2007 11:23

Will be watching this with great interest, ds 3.6 has just been potty trained and will only pooh in his pants. He doesn't let it bother him, its only when I smell it. He will only wee on potty. Just sent him back to pre-school this morning - the first time since he has been trained - waiting to see whether he has done the deed there or not!

leesmum · 05/09/2007 21:16

Hi ds will be 3 in oct and now dry day and night but went through a "i want nappy on for poo" phase, so dp and i started taking him to the toilet when we were having a poo!!

We let him watch us from start to finish, as we didn't want any embarrasment or issues with poo cos we all do it.

Anyway after a couple of weeks no problems and quite happy to use loo.

Sorry if tmi

paddyclamp · 05/09/2007 21:59

My 3.5 year old son is the same. Has been dry for a year, is nearly dry at night but refuses to poo on the potty or toilet, asks for a pull-up on.

I console myself with the fact that at least he tells me he wants to go, doesn't do it in his pants etc. The other good thing thinking ahead to when he's at school (he's at nursery at the mo)is that he always tends to go regularly in the evening.

I try not to worry but i'm starting to get desperate as time goes by.

Hoping to hear from people who've overcome this!!

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