Help toddler tantrums

[Groves6634]

Help!! My 3 year old boy has turned into the devil. We are told No!, to shut up... everything is hard work, literally everything he is asked to do. He has always been a pleasure to be around, currently dread taking him anywhere in case he has a meltdown. He is an angel at nursery which he attends 2 days a week. We have taken away his favourite police bike and his buzz outfit until he can be nice and kind. He has the most awful noise when he doesn’t want to do something i.e. put his coat on, pick rubbish up and put in the bin, clean teeth, put toys away. We are not asking him to do anything out of ordinary, he is usually lovely.... don’t know what has got into him. I hate to shout at him and always say sorry afterwards and explain why I shout. Need advice.

Honestly this sounds quite like my 21MO and she's got a good year or 2 to catch up with your LO and learn to be even more obnoxious Everything is either 'No', often with a wagging finger, or 'go' with a pointing finger to the other side of the room or her newest is 'heyyyyy' in an objecting tone if she doesn't like what you're doing. And I had my first time carrying her out of a supermarket like a rugby ball the other day coz she sat on the floor and literally wouldn't move or allow me to carry her properly It's really draining I know and can only imagine it gets worse as your child gets bigger, smarter and learns ever increasing ways to wind you up. However, I wonder if your son just isn't going to respond well to this kindof punishment. Tbh I don't think many kids really do I think society has just conditioned us to think that it's the best way. I'd recommend thinking about positive parenting techniques instead as it sounds like the above style of discipline is just going to drive you mad. Eg; one that works for my LO is giving her a choice of 2 outfits etc when she's getting dressed. She even gets to choose which nappy... (yes, they're all the same lol) It may seem silly but it's giving them a sense of autonomy which can help a lot with the endless battles. Using positive language really does help too. Eg I say 'stop' now instead of 'no' if I really need her to stop doing something and honestly she responds so much better to it. There's a few books about positive parenting but one I really like is called 'the whole brained child'. It's a quick and easy read and really made me think differently about parenting and what we're actually trying achieve. And yes, definitely apologising if you're short tempered is a good idea. We all do it but we wouldn't be grumpy and put an adult down and expect our relationship with them to still be as intact without an apology so why do we expect it of a child? Good luck. Remember to be kind to yourself and that the majority of kids do go through these phases and back out of them again.