ADVICE NEEDED! I do not want to be the chicken nugget mummy!

[3missys]

Help!

My D1 is 21 months old and I am aware they all go through phases but all through out the weaning phase I cooked her vertually an al la carte menu! Gradually as she went to the more lumpy stuff, a few things she chose not to eat but still ate her veg and shephards pie, cod in cheese sauce etc but NOW......... Oh no, I get the look of "Mummy is feeding me posion" and tantrums if I even attempt to serve her these dishes now!

A list of things she eats for dinner:

Cheesy pasta with peas mixed in
Roast dinner with it all chopped in to smaller pieces.
Chicken/turkey Nuggets
Waffles/chips
Baked beans
Mixed baby veg (at a push)
Fish cakes/fish fingers

We always do the praise thing with her and claps etc if she eats something we want her to and also if she refuses to eat what we give her she dooesn't get given anything else afterwards but I get so frustrated as I really want to my D1 to eat something half decent or am I just an Annabel Karmel wannabe???? (becasue that book just scares me looking at the sort of foods she suggest a toddler get given at dinner time!?)

She eats fruit till it comes out of her ears and has a sandwhich or crackers for lunch and cereal or toast for breakfast....... Can I have some reassurances from other mums please, any advice on how to encourage toddlers to eat different things would be helpful!!!!

Sarah x

Sarah don't worry to much about it this is the age when they start to narrow down what they will eat. They then widen out again when they are older. AS long as she is having food from all group don't stress. Annable Ks kids had very wide tastes

3ms my dd went through this too, it's worrying at the time but the less panicked you are about it, the quicker it will pass. DD went through a stage where she would only eat fruit and raw vegetables, so I just gave her set meals as normal, with a small helping of raw veg on the side and didn't make a fuss if she didn't eat her main. Gave her fruit inbetween meals, the whole family sat down with her at mealtimes(we're lucky enough to have the opportunity to all sit down together for dinner in the evening) and eventually she began eating properly again. I did only serve her small portions and if she wanted any more she would ask for it (think the HV advised that one, you could try it).

Thanks for your welcoming advice ladies! Just needed to hear from some other mums for reassurance.........

Sarah x

We also try to eat together (most nights anyway) and DS1 (2.8) eats well when sitting sharing a meal with us. I have always tried to give him the same food as I/we eat, both at lunch and supper and so far this has worked pretty well.
He has a range of food - cereal, boiled egg, toast, sandwiches, baked beans/cheese on toast, pasta, risotto, sausages, roasts, baked pots with filling, wholemeal pizza etc etc.

Wow, you're d1 sounds like she's doing ok! My dd aged 17mths has decided to only eat pasta. tomato and cheese or bolanaise but even then I have to distract her with cheese! The girl will turn into a cheese triange at this rate! I have been eating rissotto for the last week after doing a whole batch for her which she refuses to eat!! But as they say, its just a faze!!

I do sympathise - dd at 15 months started cutting things out until she was living on toast, nuggets, fishfingers, cheese, eggs (but only if she couldn't see the white), yoghurt and fruit and only now at 2.6 is she finally (slowly) coming back to vegetables! Stick with it and try not to stress (hard when you've just cooked a batch of yummy organic goodness and she throws it on the floor in favour of breadcrumb-covered crud!).

I realised that it was starting to become an issue of control for both of us and it was only when I 'let go' and stopped worrying (hard but just about do-able - if it hadn't been for her fruit intake I would have gone doolally with worry!) that she started eating 'proper' portions instead of half a mouthful here and there, and then, of her own accord, she came back to veg about a month ago and is trying out other food too.

THere is light at the end of the tunnel, and your dd sounds like she's still eating quite a good range of food - if it's any comfort to you, my nephew at this age would only eat bread and butter - and only white bread! He's now 11 and is eating all before him, including salad, so there's hope! (and I can't quite believe that Annabel Karmel's toddlers' favourite ever pasta was one with broccoli and peas!)

actually that sounds pretty varied ! You can always puree veg to mix into fish cakes. If you want to expand it do so gradually changign one thing at a time ie do homemade potato wedges instead of chips, alternative fish in the fish cakes. tbh I'd ease off the praise thing. They each differ , ds would n't eat pasta until about 18 months but loved raost dinner (we'd save a portion for Monday too), then ate nothing else for a while. dd loved scrambled egg, spaghetti and jacket spuds.

Give her a plate with a selection of food , preferably the same as yours, let her eat whatever and remove the rest without fuss. If you are concerned keep track over a week or so and the balance will probably be there overall if not on each day.

Don't panic. It sounds pretty good to me.

I had the fussiest toddler in the world, and it's taken years for her to eat a wide range of foods. She is now nearly 9 and still isn't the most adventurous of eaters, but as long as she gets a bit of variety down her I don't worry.

I would say though to gradually tone down the whole clapping and praising thing. Some toddlers come to expect a huge 'Mum and Dad Show' every time something passes their lips and either won't eat without a huge attendant fuss, or refuse to eat as the praise and clapping is a major boost, so not eating gets them more attention.

I would put her dinner in front of her, sit down and tuck into yours, "ignore" her whilst she eats and just praise her at the end for what she has eaten, even if it's not much.

Wow, thanks ladies, your words of advice has helped a lot....

Will definetley tone down the praise thing and see how that works. I think with me, as much I try to hide my anxieties that she isn't eating much, it can be hard so she is probably playing off on that (little monster!).

We do sit down together for most of the week for dinner depending on our shifts at work (I start back at work next week after being on mat leave) but will serve up dinner tonight and just ignore her and see what she does. This whole toddler game is all about trial and error I suppose!

Thanks again.

Sarah x

3missys, one thing I found that helps a lot with my 2.3 yo is to ask her to help prepare some of the food.
Some time ago I was chopping courgettes and she helped (with a blunt-ish knife, and I was holding her hands...). She the ate quite a lot of it as we were chopping ('mama, it is crunchy and juicy!'), and she ate a lot of it for dinner too... which she had not done before.

There is something interesting about kids and eating at www.guardian.co.uk/family/story/0,,2141050,00.html
and there is a section that sounds exactly like what you are describing...

Blimey 3M. You have nothing to worry about --at all!.

After being spoilt by my DS1 eating anything and everything, going through every receipe in the Annabel K books, I assumed mothers of picky eaters must have not given enough variety or something until DS2 came along. I did all the same things as I had with DS1 but have a battle of all battles every mealtime to get him to eat anything even vaguely healty. He will not eat any fruit AT ALL. Only Innocent Smoothies. He only eats veggies hidden or mashed. Food in general is pretty much 'Uurrrghhh' to him!!

I agree that you don't have anything to worry about. I think you could make it a bit easier on yourself too - can't she eat what you are eating now? Right from the start mine have eaten the same as us as much as possible, and by that age I wasn't cooking anything specifically for them. I've found they are more willing to eat stuff they see us eating too.

Sounds normal to me. Ds (2.2) has a pretty limited repetoire and it used to stress me out ALOT. Since I've backed off and gone with the flow he's eating (a little bit) better. Definately agree that you should:

Back off with the whooping and hollering at meal times and just enjoy your own food.

Give her what she likes PLUS something she probably won't eat (yet) on her plate. I always give ds some veggies even though they rarely go near his mouth.

Make sure snacks are nutritious (fruit, cheese, dips)

DS is really hungry at breakfast, so I take the opportunity to get as much food as possible in, knowing that he will probably pick for much of the day.

Get her involved in the cooking. DS ate three raw carrots the other day after 'helping' me peel them.

Good luck - try not to stress out!

Thanks again you lot will try all your tips! We have tried to give her the same food as us but perhaps we not as persistant when she turned her nose up at it? I dunno?

She eats a good breakfast and lunch and her snacks are all quite healthy (cheese sticks, dried fruit, cereal bars & fruit) so I should be quite thankful for that!

Well lets hope I won't be wearing the crown of The chicken nugget mummy for to long! lol! If all else fails I shall cook a huge roast and freeze seperate portions for the whole week so she can eat that!

Sarah x

Oh my goodness, 3missys I am totally in the same boat. My dd is 22 months and sooo faddy with her food. Usually I can guarantee that she will eat most things if there's a bit of pasta in there but even that can be a bit hit and miss. My only tips are:

If your toddler will eat pasta try using the following freshly made things blended up as sauces: Broccoli and cauliflower cheese, ratatouille, vege soups, Bolognese etc. I also make a tomato sauce with loads of veg packed in and blended up so no-one's the wiser. All that freezes and can be defrosted in 5 mins or so when you're in a hurry.

Freshly squeezed juices. If you have a juicer or blender it only takes a moment to wizz up some carrots, bluberries, apples, pears etc and if your toddler likes juice, a whole heap of vitamins can go down in one glass. My dd likes to drink them from a grown up cup like a "big girl" and thinks it's a special treat.

She also seems to like fish fingers and quorn sausages which are handy in the freezer, but to be honest, one day something will seem to go down well and I'll give it to her again and she'll totally refuse it.

I would love to hear other ideas of things to try. I totally agree with Lovecat though - it can be such an issue of control on both parts. I'm trying to relax a bit, but it's a hard one!

Its so nice to hear that I am not the only one with a faddy eater and not every mother has a child that eats every meal from the annabel karmel book!

Sarah x