4 year old won’t go to bed!!

[tenthavenue]

Hi there, my 4 year old will not go to bed and go to sleep until stupidly late... then he’s cranky in mornings. He doesn’t nap during the day.
We start bedtime routine (pjs, teeth, books and bed) about 7.. he’s in his room by 7:30 then he will just get up repeatedly. I’ve given him a nightlight and he will stay in bed but plays with toys till about 9pm at which point he passes out. We are trying waking him at 7am... because when he stays up until 9pm left to his own devices he will sleep in until past 8am... if this carries on he will get from 9pm till 7am, that’s 10hrs... is that enough?? He can be very cranky in the morning and apart from going to bed late sleeps like a freaking LOG. Will sleep in very late if not disturbed. Thanks for any advice it would be much appreciated.

Well I used to lay with my little one until he fell asleep. Now we have a full on regime so he knows what is happening. He gets dinner, cartoons, bath, books, bed, and he loves it. He gets stars that reward the necessities like brushing teeth, getting into pjs, keeping his room tidy and he doesn’t get his rewards like book if he doesn't complete the star chart.

My mom used to sit silently in the room to make sure my brothers and sisters would stay in their bed, but would basically bore them to sleep.

I don’t know if you have tried breathing exercises, guided meditation or piano music either? I find them really helpful when he is particularly testing.

What's your bedtime routine now OP and if he's playing with toys, are you able to pack them away or put them in another room for a while?

I lie with my 5 year old till she falls asleep. It's far from ideal, but it gets the job done, and she's normally asleep in about 10-15 mins. I like the good old fashioned method of wearing them out, I know it obviously can't be dobe every day, but when it can, it works like a charm.

I will sit with my 4yro until he falls asleep. Its not ideal and was a routine I got into when my DP was working nights so I was on my own. However, he doesn't nap in the day and usually takes less than half an hour to fall asleep most of the time a lot less. Can you read him a story then sit with him so at least he's in his bed, quiet and not playing with toys. If he's used to falling asleep around 9, then perhaps teeth and PJs and into bed for the story at 8.30, then keep bringing the time forward so he is asleep by 7-7.30? It might take a bit of time at first but persevere.