Do I give up potty training?

[zeroyogurts]

3 year old DS has been potty trained for around a month. He won’t ask if he wants to go (he’s speech delayed anyway), so we put him on the toilet every hour.
So a month later he’s still having accidents once or twice a day. Poo and wee.
I don’t want to put him back in nappies after a month, but I would have thought by now it would have clicked.
I think nursery are getting a bit peed off (excuse the pun) that they’re having to change him twice a day and he’s weeing on the carpet etc, although he is weeing 5 or 6 times a day on the toilet when they put him on there as well as the accidents in his pants.
Older child trained within 4 days at a much younger age.
Any suggestions?

No advice? I appreciate it’s a boring post!

Don’t push it if he’s not ready. My DN has a speech delay and was later to potty train, but reliable by 4 yrs 5 months when he started school

So if he can't ask to go to the toilet due to speech delay can he indicate that he needs it any other way either through sign language (makaton), using a PECS card (a laminated picture of a toilet would do) or an object of reference that every one has agreed means toilet? Also can he physically access/use the toilet/potty without help? Does he show any awareness that he's had an accident? Finally are there obvious signs that he's aware that he needs to go, hand over groin, crossing his legs, suddenly doing a wee dance?

If the answer to most of this is no then he's not really potty trained, you're just managing to catch most of it when you put him on the loo. I'd put him back in pull ups but continue to put him on the toilet at times he's likely to need it, so 30 minutes after a drink, before going anywhere, mealtimes, etc. You could line them with some pants so he can feel the wetness. Ultimately there's no point trying to force it if he's not ready.

We started with a potty Miss 3 next to her trampoline as she spends most of her life on it and as soon as she showed signs we'd put her on it. We didn't put her on it every hour because she needed to make that connection. How many accidents she had depended on how absorbed she was in whatever she was doing and on how tired she was as she'd forget she wasn't wearing a nappy sometimes and was supposed to use the potty.

She still had nappies during the day for the next 2 months but we gradually increased the time she was out of them. 4 months later we still get accidents but they are off the putting off going until the very last minute variety now.

He’s going every single time we put him on the toilet and has done for the past month. He’s just having accidents in between too.
I’m not massively concerned, but I’m worried nursery will want to put him back in nappies or get annoyed if they have to change his clothes every single day.
Thought it would have clicked by now.

He knows when he’s gone in his pants as he will freeze and shout me and tell me he’s gone.
But it’s like he doesn’t know when he needs to go without being prompted.
He can talk well enough to say toilet, wee, poo etc. He’s just not where he should be speech wise and only puts a couple of words together.