Behaviour management for 16 month old?

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hi guys, completely at the end of my line here and hoping for any possible help.

DS feels completely out of control. He's always been really challenging, but recently his behaviour has deteriorated (even though I didn't think that was possible . . .).

He's started having huge tantrums, throwing himself to the ground, hitting, kicking out and throwing things. His temper is horrible and I have no idea where it comes from as DH and I have always been very calm around him, even though he's tested us to the absolute limit pretty much since the day he was born.

Flashpoints are anything from DH leaving the house on a morning, getting dressed, having to wait a few minutes for his breakfast, not being picked up, being picked up, getting frustrated with toys. Anything can trigger a fit of rage so it's impossible to mitigate against.

He sleeps well on a nighttime (19:30 - 7:00 approx), eats well and has a good routine.

His concentration span is poor - 30 seconds or so per activity and he shows very little affection towards DH and I.

I try using positive reinforcement, because I think he's too young to understand consequences but he doesn't really care if I'm pleased with him or not.

Anyone had a similar experience and managed to find a strategy that worked?

Thanks in advance - I'm getting a bit desperate. xx

My 15 month old sounds similar... the tantrums are unreal! I was under the impression this was just a phase though? He's hard work but has always been a handful! Luckily behaves well at nursery apparently!

It sounds like you're doing everything you can just continue to be calm, loving and consistent in your approach. You could consider teaching him baby sign language or similar so he has a way to communicate his needs better to you.

Thanks so much for the replies, folks. I've read that it's developmentally 'normal', and my friend who is very knowledgeable in this field has told me that it's because he can't articulate his needs properly, so I'll give the sign language a(nother) try.

We tried a class some time ago but DS was too interested in rolling around on the floor and it all became a bit too stressful. . . 🙄

I think what's becoming a little worrying is that I have no idea when a tantrum is about to happen. There are often no warnings and I don't know what has upset him. There are the obvious reasons like when he wants something he can't have or when I'm getting him dressed, but sometimes I have no idea what his problem is.

I just really don't think I can deal with this going on for long. It's so draining and I'm now really struggling to stay calm.

I'm putting him in a nursery for a day per week starting next week, so I'm really hoping that helps him to learn about waiting for things, taking turns, following instructions etc. Won't hold my breath, though!

I promise it gets easier as they get older and their understanding improves. My DS started his tantrums so young (before he was 1!), and I felt like he had a reputation at nursery for being really difficult etc, but he’s just about to turn 2 and is so much easier generally but when he does have a tantrum I’ve had loads of practise at dealing with them!

The best technique I’ve found is to distract distract distract!! And don’t beat yourself up if you can’t always keep your calm coz it’s really hard. And there will always be a time where you have to let them lie on the floor in Tesco having a meltdown coz they have to queue in the cafe (true story!).

I’m pretty sure it’s a phase you just have to get through, and I suspect it comes in waves and as he gets more opinionated we will encounter more tantrums but there are times where life is easier honestly!