Autism flags in 9 months old

[user1478640515]

Feeling pretty heart broken. Since around 6 months my baby has been stimming (hand flapping and wrist rolling)

He is very late on his milestones. Doesn't roll although he can. Doesn't crawl, babble, crawl, smile at others but he will smile at me, Dad and Grandma.

He's started having mini meltdowns when out in cafes etc. He cries a lot now at home.

Eye contact is ok but not good.

What could I have done to cause this?
I take him to baby groups, we sing and chat to him. We give him so much love and play anticipation games a lot but he's just a bit meh.

It's so heartbreaking to see all the other babies around us interacting, moving when he just sits there.

The health visitors and doctor I have shared my concerns with just think I am over worrying and that it's too early to tell but it's clear to me.

It's effecting my bond with him which I feel so so guilty about saying out loud.

We as mothers do worry too much... One thing I have realised with my DD is that while she might be behind in some things, she does excel at others so I do avoid trying to compare her with the other Kids. At this stage is all about learning... if a situation makes him uncomfortable try to remove a few things and then introducing them little by little until you find the reason (maybe instead of taking him to a busy cafe try a small coffee shop just after opening...)

Try not to worry - I am assuming your baby sits up ok as the health visitor etc are not concerns. You mention He smiles at you and your husband - he is very very young and probably you are over worrying. My youngest son didn’t crawl until after his first birthday, didn’t walk until he was 1 and a half - but he is now 3 1/2 - active, bright, bubbly, chatty etc in the house - he is shy with crowds and other kids the same age but that is all. My advice would be Don’t stress too much just try and enjoy him as a baby and see how it goes over next nine months. You won’t get the baby stage back -with my first I worried about every milestone etc - my younger ones I just enjoyed and it was much nicer

Did you have particular concerns about autism from an early stage? 9 months is still very young and everything you’ve written is perfectly normal for a baby of that age, even the behaviour that you have described as “stimming”. My little girl did the same and she is now nearly two and super social and chatty. She also didn’t really babble until she was well over one. They all develop at their own pace and some babies are pretty lazy about moving. Is he on the bigger side? One of my nephews was a bit of a chunk and rolling, crawling etc took ages because he had more of him to move.

Try not to symptom spot at this stage. And definitely don’t be heartbroken. ‘Normal’ is a very wide spectrum in babies and if you go looking for signs of something that you’re particularly anxious about, then chances are you will find it. Enjoy your little boy rather than scrutinising him for things that might be wrong.

Don’t worry too much, 9 months is very young. My 18 month old was late meeting some milestones like rolling over, has never crawled (but has walked since 13 months), has meltdowns pretty much every day (he’s a very high needs toddler!) and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have autism. They all do things in their own time.

My aon didnt crawl until after 9 or 10 months, didnt roll until around then either, and didn't bear weight until around a year old. I have been told that he is neurotypical (had to actually take him to a neurologist st one point as he was only using one arm as had torticollis as a young baby). He has major meltdowns all the time and has done for months and months. None of this screams autism as far as I know. Keep an eye on the not babbling and not smiling... but remember that they change so so quickly and pick.up new skills practically overnight! When you do the 10 month ASQ you can raise your concerns with the HV?