Stubbornness driving me bonkers

[Boredofthisstagenow]

Hello fellow parents. Any advice welcome. I’m a single parent of a 3yr old. Ongoing issue but particularly affecting us atm. My DD will suddenly stubbornly refuse to do things we need to do. Example today, left nursery happily. A few steps from the car stood still and refused to move for 20 minutes. Not crying, asking for anything, just not moving/talking/engaging at all. I cannot persuade/argue/play/bribe her out of these moments. Only waiting it out seems to work. It happens most often when we are getting in the car or out the car but can be about any random thing. It’s boring and frustrating. I’m guessing this is something about her wanting to be in control but it is driving me insane so if there is anything new I can try to stop it I will!

Couldn't you just pick her up? Is it a safe enough area that you could just walk away and see if she follows?

Agree with just picking her up. One good thing about three year olds is that you can do this and nobody bats an eyelid. It's a bit harder when they get to 15 and they are a foot taller than you

Some 3 year olds like to feel in control over a lot of things, do you give her many choices?

One that worked really well for my DS was giving him a choice of two outfits in the morning or the choice of two different snacks at snack time. This is usually enough to let them feel in control but not overwhelming for them

Thanks for your replies. 🙏🏻 Yes, in that situation I can pick her up... she doesn’t like it but I can! Reflecting on your replies I wonder if I actually give her too much choice and she gets overwhelmed that way. I can see it might be better to try a choice of 2 snack rather than a more general ‘what snack would you like’. I will keep reflecting and see how we get on.

I normally give a 5 second warning, and then just do whatever e.g. pick her up. That gives my DD (also 3) the choice to retain some dignity if she chosen to, or just get Carried like a sack of potatoes.... I very rarely get past 4 in the countdown. I do give her lots of other opportunities to make choices though. I don’t know what the right balance is with that if I’m honest! Usually for food I give her a choice of 2, but then if she suggests something else and I have it I usually agree. I allow her to chose her own clothes unless there’s a specific reason for something. I think it’s important to let them develop the ability to make appropriate choices.

I think I agree with you OP, "what would you like for a snack" is a great question for smoker child. At 3 this could be overwhelming.