do you agree with this logic when dealing with a child..

[hermykne]

just a quick moral boost please

awkaward child for whatever reason
negotiate
that doesnt work
ignore
that doesnt work
step/remove toy whatever method you use
that doesnt work
walk away from situation beofre you slap them
and it ll soon blow over.

i would switch negotiate with ask child to communicate their problem, ie whats wrong use your words.

Do pretty much the same myself. Not that DS responds tbh. He is very very single and bloody minded with his own agenda.

I end up at many stages interjecting with 'I love you dearly but I don't like this behaviour that is making it difficult to talk with you'

I'd add distract
and take out slap

okay, thanks , i use those things mentioned too, WWW, my mil told me today my kids were spoilt and slapping would work instead of how i do (ie as i listed above).

i am just so upset to be told they are spoilt. they arent. far from it.
but it is the end of the holidays and discipline os hard for 30 days on the trot with a pt husband due to his work. so i maybe a little exasperated by them. but spoiling them .....i am lost really.

My ds (4) has been a total pain all summer hols, I could feel my tolerance levels reducing by the minute so I re-read the book that came with a parenting course I did a while ago. It reminded me of using empathy, have been incredibly empathetic with him and within a day or two my lovely boy is back. Amazing

mine have been ok this holiday, but dd1 is fogetting her manners now in the final week and has been told off several times for being rude and demanding.

they do seem to be a bit wild this week after last weeks illness keeping them subdued.

Definitely would ask them to tell me what's wrong rather than negotiate with them - otherwise with mine, you'd end up saying "well, WHICH cup? The pink one? The green one?" or some other such pointless debate

And tbh I wouldn't walk away until the problem was resolved because then they would learn that if they were rotten for long enough, they'd win out.

scootgrl yeah , i do ask what the problem is and i get a rant but eventually we kinda get a gargled version of whats going on in their heads, only 4 & 3.

did u see the bit about my mil

I like to say
'are you feeling sad/angry/unhappy/grumpy/frustrated/tired?' (as appropriate) and 9 out of 10 times my dd will say yes and it sort of flips her mood and she will talk to me or stop what ever she is doing that I don't like. She is 3.
I guess it sort of makes them feel like you are on their side.
Sometimes I have to say it twice or even three times and make sure she is listening, Then it sort of gives you somewhere to go because if they say yes then you can do something about it.