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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Should I try to get him dry at night?

22 replies

cece · 26/08/2007 22:16

DS will be 4 in Oct and still wears pull ups at night. They are quite often wet in the morning. Not sure if he does his wee on waking or during the night. He shows no interest in stopping wearing them. Infact prefers to do his poos first thing in the morning into them.

I have one more left in the pack, so shall I buy some more or get my a** into gear and make the effort to get him dry at night?

DD did all her training herslf and told me she would be dry at day and then at night, so all this effort has been a bit of a shock...

Oh and it took him months to be properly dry duing the day.

OP posts:

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Original poster

cece · 26/08/2007 22:18

whoops will check back later, having to turn computer off due to guest going to bed! (computer in spare room!)

OP posts:

AngeG · 26/08/2007 22:27

Hi Cece

My DS will be 4 in Sept and still wears a nappy at night, sometimes it is wet in the morning sometimes not. I praise him if it is dry and say nothing if it is wet.

I'm not going to try and make him dry at the moment but that is partly because I'm loath to get up and change bed covers during the night (I've a 4 month old baby I'm up enough)

We do talk about him not wearing a nappy and he says he will stop wearing one soon so I think he'll decide when he is ready.

Sorry not much help really, just saying I don't think I would worry at the moment.

heifer · 26/08/2007 22:33

My DD decided one day that she didn't want to wear a nappy anymore (think she was around 3.2ish)..

I was worried about it as her nappy was quite often wet in the morning, but thought I would let her try..

I found that as long as I put her on the potty around 10.30 at night she then goes through the night dry no problems at all.

The only time she has wet the bed is if I forget to go up before 10.30...

She doesn't even wake up now, I just tell her I am going to put her on the potty and lift her off the bed, then after put her back into bed, she rolls over and goes back into a deep sleep..

just reminds me - it is past 10.30!....

Tiggerish · 26/08/2007 22:35

my ds is 5.4 and is almost always wet at night. It is really common, particularly with boys, and drs won't do anything until they are 7. Try not to stress about it - i would go with the flow and get some more pull-ups!

LilianGish · 26/08/2007 22:35

My four year old has just stopped wearing a nappy at night. Just decided he didn't need one and that was that. Not sure what efforts you could make to get ds dry at night apart from reminding him to go to the loo before he goes to bed - it's not the same as toilet training in the day when you can keep asking if he needs to go. My guess is if you try to do it before he's ready you'll just end up with loads of bedding to wash - I decided that for the sake of one nappy a day it wasn't worth it. I'm sure it will happen sooner rather than later - boys are always later than girls ime. Best of luck.

heifer · 26/08/2007 22:46

I don't believe it!

After posting on here how easy it was for DD once she decided and then saying tis ok as long as I wake her and put her on the potty by 10.30! whilst I am writing this realised it was after 10.30 - go up and...

1 wet bed...

Her body must be atuned to go by 10.30PM! she goes just before she gets into bed, but since I have been putting her on the potty just before 10.30 - if I don't she has always wet the bed...

so next time any one sees me on MN around 10.30 - give me a push off!

collision · 26/08/2007 22:53

I AM WRITING THIS IN CAPITALS SO YOU ALL READ IT

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT DRYNESS AT NIGHT AS A HORMONE HAS TO KICK IN FOR THE CHILD TO BE DRY.

I cannot remember the name of the hormone but a pharmacist confirmed this last week when I was chatting to her about it.

Mine were both dry when i pottytrained during the day so I was just lucky but until the hormone kicks in there is not a lot you can do.

Olihan · 26/08/2007 22:59

Heifer, lifting at night can cause extra problems because their bodies get used to weeing at a particular time so they do it automatically, regardless of whether they are awake or not (as you've discovered ).

There is a hormone that controls night time wetting that can kick in at any point between potty training and about 6yo. I don't know the physiology of it but until they have that hormone they are unlikely to be dry at night.

I would think that if he's still quite wet in the mornings then he's probably not ready and it would be easier for everyone if you left it for a bit.

divastrop · 26/08/2007 22:59

my ds2 was 4 in july and i had decided to wait untill he mentioned not wearing nappies at night before i did anything.i read on another thread about putting pants on under the pull-up so they feel when they are wet(it was a thread about daytime potty training)so i thought i'd try that as it would be less hassle!

he did wet himself on the first night but then had 3 nights with no wetting,and (touch wood) has had 2 nights with no pull-up atall and no wetting.

ds1 was dry at night from the same age,and he only had about 2 accidents in the first 3 weeks.

OTOH,dd1 is almost 9 and still wears PJ pants as every attempt to get her dry at night has failed miserably(she must take after me as i wet the bed till i was 9).

it seems if they are ready,it should be easy,if its not then they arent ready.

Olihan · 26/08/2007 23:00

X posts Collision! I'm watching Grand Designs & typing at the same time!

heifer · 27/08/2007 08:35

I had no idea re the lifting at night thing.... I thought it would stop eventually!..

Not I don't know what to do, she hasn't worn a nappy for over 6 months, and only wet the bed about 5 times (twice the first week) then 3 times when I didn't get to her before 10.30...

She will wake up and go to the toilet herself if anytime after 10.30 (ie once I have put her on the potty by 10.30 if she needs to go again she will wake up and go in the potty, so does this mean that she is ready but I blew it by lifting her?

How do I stop her from going at 10.30? should I put her back in nappies (she won't like that)...

help please.... an unsure Heifer

Olihan · 27/08/2007 09:33

I'm really sorry Heifer but I have no idea how to stop it. I'm sure there are some wise mumsnetters who will know though . Maybe start a new thread? She may well grow out of it eventually, once the hormone kicks in though, if you're not worried about lifting her every night.

mummydoit · 27/08/2007 09:36

I made no effort whatsoever to get DS1 dry at night. He was in pull-ups till he was four and a half till I noticed he'd had dry ones several nights in a row. Stopped using them that night and have only ever had one accident since. Completely and utterly stress-free for both parties. I shall follow the same method with DS2. I am 100% convinced that you cannot train them till the hormone kicks in and you're just stressing yourself and the child if you try too early.

CeciC · 27/08/2007 11:38

Hi cece,
I didn't know about the hormone, but when I was younger and lived in Spain, my neighbours, who had 3 sons, had that problem with all of them. I don't know when they stop wetting the bed at night, but I know the oldest was 10, and he still had that problem.
With my oldest, I did remove the nappy as soon as she would wake up in the morning, I wouldn't wait 5 minutes, and she would go to the toilet just before going to bed. after a couple of months, I tried one night without nappies, and she was dry. I think she was almost 3 when that happened.
I wouldn't put any pressure on Ds for wearing a nappy at night, I would try may be a couple of nights, but if he doean't feel happy I will use them again, but I will still remove them as soon as he is awake, and don't let him do a poo on them in the morning.

Othersideofthechannel · 27/08/2007 12:43

Cece, DS is 4.6 and still in nappies at night. His little sister has been dry at night since she was 2.5
Occasionally we forget the nappy for DS and he always wakes up soaked in the middle of the night. He is just not ready.
DD had a run of dry nappies at night and we were just thinking that there was no point putting nappies on her when she asked not to wear one.

Interesting about that family in Spain. I have read elsewhere that boys being slow to become dry at night runs in families.

Original poster

cece · 27/08/2007 17:46

Wow thanks for all of the replies!

Just as I thought the consensus seems to be he is not ready. I think I will wait till he decides he would like to try - which is what I ddi with dd (whoever she was 2.11 when she decided!)

Think I will go and get some more pull ups in the morning. he did have one night when I forgot to put his nappy on and he was dry all night though.. TBH don't really want to be dealing with wet beds in middle of night as back to work next week.

OP posts:

bozzy · 28/08/2007 22:50

Hi Cece
I had the same dilemma - my son has just turned 4, I had no pull ups left and decided to go for it. We lift him at night before we go to bed (anywhere between 11 and 1am) and sometimes he is dry in the morning (3 mornings in a row) and then wet. He doesn't like being wet and takes his pj pants off so I guess he understands (the reason I say this is that his communication skills aren't as good as they could be for a 4 year old so he doesn't always tell us what he wants). However, I live in Spain so it is not a problem to wash his sheet and waterproof mattress each day (he has another bed in his room that he can move to if necessary...). Good luck - I think I will persist for now and see if he improves....

pinkdolly · 30/08/2007 20:05

hi cece,

my dd1 was dry at nite when she was potty trained at 3.

my dd2 however, just turned 4 and still has very wet nappies in the morning. like everyone else, i'm just going along with her. i am afraid i am another mummy who doesn't want to have to change wet sheets during the night.

mm22bys · 30/08/2007 22:13

My DS was ready to go nappyless at night before I was ready to let him try!

It started just before he turned 3 - he just would not let us put a nappy on him at night (he had been dry during the day for a long time), so we would wait till he was asleep then put one on him.

We would notice the next morning that the nappy was dry...

So we just decided to not put a nappy on him.

He had a couple of accidents, but nothing major.

A few months earlier we had asked friends who have a DS three months older how they had night-trained him, and they said he just did it himself when he was ready (they reckoned he was 18 months!). We didn't believe them - but that is what happened in the end with DS - he did it in his own good time, and with no prompting or "training" from us.

Good luck,

EmsMum · 30/08/2007 23:39

My DD has finally kicked DriNites at 8 (yup, girls can be slow too). Its not considered an issue at all till they are 7, at which point you can ask for referral to specialist nurse from health visitor or GP (leastwise thats how it works in my area).

Apart from the hormone, another factor can be small bladder which can be caused by not drinking enough. If the child also has daytime dryness problems and/or the constipation+soiling thing then this is worth thinking about. I don't know what the amount for 4 year old is but part of DDs treatment was to drink 8 x 200ml drinks (non fizzy, non-caffeinated) throughout the day, finishing 1 1/2 hrs before bedtime. Counter-intuitive as it may seem, both day and night wetting can be exacerbated by inadequate hydration!

How long to continue pull-ups is a tricky one. The professionals don't like them, and I can in hindsight see why... DD NEVER had a dry one. Even when after a couple of dry weeks she and DH had a couple of nights in a hotel and used them to be on the safe side, sure enough they were permission to wee. But I know too well, its hard to wash sheets, duvet, protector nearly every day (and sometimes more than one set!). So prob best to wait till theres at least some sign of the child wanting to be properly dry if they are

twentypence · 30/08/2007 23:49

I wouldn't be concerned about the wet pull ups, but I do think that pooing into them is different - is that his only poo of the day?

Ds does seem better in washable training pants than pull ups, though usually the bottom sheet needs to be changed if he does wet.

Sidge · 31/08/2007 12:44

This is a difficult one as it varies so much between children.

My DD1 was dry in the day quite quickly, but took a bit longer at night. I kept waiting for a dry nappy in the morning but never got one, and decided in the end that she was probably half waking as she needed a wee, then thought "Oh, I've got a nappy on, I'll just do it in that".

I bit the bullet and left her nappy off one night, and put the potty by her bed. I lifted her when I went to bed and she wee-d. She was pretty much dry all night after that and I think she had very few wet beds.

But unless they are physiologically ready to control their wee you can't rush them. It's a case of try leaving a nappy off, see what happens and if they aren't ready then go back to pull ups/nappies for a bit longer.

Heifer - we lifted DD1 for a wee for a long time, it's only when she was at school (I think?) that we stopped lifting her and she would wake and go to the loo on her own. I wasn't willing to restrict her fluids though so that may have been a factor. Didn't bother us doing it and it didn't last forever!

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