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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nephew is overweight and socially impaired

11 replies

Thehavenots · 23/12/2019 08:51

what Can i do? My sister in law eats, and feeds my nephew rubbish: beige food and a lot of take aways, cakes and sweets, she and her husband are too lazy to cook. Hence now my poor nephew is overweight! Perhaps more worrying is how long my nephew spends with headphones on listening to an iPad or computer game. If they go out he is plugged in. And they never walk anywhere. So he has now become a little odd and socially he does not want to spend time with the other kids as he is given the choice of keeping his headphones on! She has even got the cheek to imply he is autistic when up to 5 years ago he was a lovely sociable child, I’m really annoyed how she is ruining this child but is in denial when I confront her about these things.

OP posts:

Harrysmummy246 · 23/12/2019 15:25

Nothing that you can do. Not your child

FTMF30 · 24/12/2019 08:57

Tgis whole "not your child" reasoning goes a little too far sometimes. The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is absolutely correct.

OP, whilst I dont think you should criticise your DB and DIL as there's no telling some people. You also say they're lazy but what is their lifestyle like? Perhaps they're just tired and have gotten in to a bad habit of letting things slip.

Could you not spend some time with your nephew and coax him into doing fun activities while with you? How old is he? Could you not have him round at your place sometimes and feed him nutritious meals?

orangetriangle · 24/12/2019 18:25

He could be autistic you dont know that in which case he could have social difficulties eat beige food and spend a lot of time with his headphones on

staydazzling · 26/12/2019 13:47

your speaking as if you know him better than they do, i struggle with that kind of arrogance.

orangetriangle · 27/12/2019 20:24

stay dazzling

I have a son on the autistic spectrum who does the things the original poster describes.
That is not to say this is the case of course
I dont know him no but my son also eats beige food spends almost of time with headphones on etc. I am only responding to what the original poster described and stated

FTMF30 · 28/12/2019 08:21

@orangetriangle I think @staydazzling was addressing the OP and not your comment.

staydazzling · 28/12/2019 08:59

yeah absolutely i was addressing the OP not you 😊

JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/12/2019 20:36

There is very little you can do. You could arrange to see him more, maybe take him swimming, out to the park or even tubing together.

He may want to go with you, he may not, especially if he is genuinely ASD.

Do you invite them over for dinner ever? Maybe give him his beige food but try to make your own version?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/12/2019 20:37

Oh and as for your original question, there is very, very little you can do about this. Let him know how much you love him but definitely don't try to lecture his parents.

orangetriangle · 28/12/2019 23:12

oops sorry stay dazzling😮

Tatasmum · 30/12/2019 19:38

It is a question of culture also. I know I am generalising. But in general, western people don't intervene and prefer not to be lectured either. I'm from Eastern Europe and in our culture people are generally not indifferent, they intervene, lecture and things like raising a child become a community process in some way.

Do what you feel comfortable. If I were in the mother's place I would prefer to be told directly rather than if someone would try to re-educate my child themselves.

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