Should some questions be off limits for a 2.10yo?

[beansprout]

The news was on today (the Rhys Jones murder) and ds asked why the woman was sad. I said her little boy had died because someone had hurt him a lot, and when prompted, explained that meant he had gone away and would not come back.

My general view is that I shouldn't make things up and to be honest where possible but I really don't know if that is always going to be helpful.

Your wise advice would be appreciated please!

my advice for small kids is not to answer any questions they haven't asked. make answers age appropriate and if your son is really young and actually watches the news (as opposed to ignoring anything that isn't pingu) make sure you don't watch it till he is in bed/otherwise occupied

I would not have the news on with a young child around

it isn't at all appropriate IMO

We stayed at a hotel recently where the TV was blaring out in the breakfast lounge and I asked if they could change the channel for us. They said no way, until I pointed out that Sky News was offering detailed cover of various murder stories and my 4 year old was watching

hey! good timing. my ds1 has been asking if i have a willy, and insisting that i do. can't decide what term to use and how much to explain.

Agree with franny.

I don't this it is a bad thing for children to be told about death at a young age (although at your DS's age, don't know that he would really grasp the concept anyway). My mother has cancer and might not have long to live, so my DSs will probably find out about the finality of death at a fairly young age anyway. The knowledge of this has made me fairly upfront with them whenever death-related stuff has come up. The only thing I don't insist on is the fact of death happening to everyone, as my older son is just about old enough to grasp that this means that HE will die one day, and I don't want to foist that on him just yet.

In general, I try to answer any question they ask, as you say. Also agree with gemmie that it's important to not give more information than they have actually asked for.

Thanks for this, he usually ignores it but maybe those days are over and we need to be more careful.

To op, I'd tend to say no. But I wouldn't have teh news on when dds were little either. Even now they're 11 and 8, I sometimes turn off the news if it's on. They watch Newsround.

Totally agree with franny, my dd1 is 5 and never sees the news or a newspaper. She knows about death because her friend died, and knows about war and killing b/c it gets talked about at school, but she doesn't know about murder. I was about six or seven when the Yorkshire Ripper was killing and I was convinced he was going to kill my mum. Then I had nightmares about my dad being murdered and I couldn't bond with him when I has these dreams - it made a great chunk of my childhood pretty crap.

Oregonian I said "no I have a vulva" and ds went around saying vulva for about two days before moving on to something else

However I do think (watching the news apart) that if a child of this age comes across things in life that makes them ask about death (as ds did at this age when our neighbour died), that it's a good idea to answer questions as honestly and clearly as possible. Ds asked all about death and we had a lot of traumas at the time, but better get it out of the way IMO and have it understood as a natural part of life. Of course some children will not ask until they are older.

Exposing them to the news is much too much, too soon, though.

Absolutely. I explained as much as I could to dd1 about what happened to her friend when he died and we went to see his grave. I don't think children should be protected from death. But I do think they should be protected from the harsh reality of what people can do to each other for as long as possible (although we have done the 'bottoms are private' thing).

Thanks Franny, that is the one word I hadn't considered! and I didn't mean to try to hijack your thread, beansprout.
I agree that kids should be talked to honestly, but it is really hard when the moment comes to think of the right language to use, isn't it?