Speech delay - my fault?

[dingdongmer]

Hi am new here so please be nice

I'm mum to a 22 month old who babbles lots but no actual recogniseable words

I'm not tooooo worried as it runs in the family on both side with both sides talking at 3 years old

I think I do what I can and this is where I need confirmation. I sing nursery rhymes to him loads and we read books together so he will bring me a book to read. He also just likes looking at the pictures and I try to point out things but hard to say if he's listening as he is busy turning the pages

I'm his best friend at the moment and he's very clingy as I'm SAHM so he likes to hold my hand and bring me places. When he does this I ask where are u taking mummy and I speak to him about how mummy is going to kitchen now and he can stay here or come with me etc

Basically I am not worried about autism at all so please no assumptions about that

What I'm asking is am I doing everything I can? I basically don't want him to have a speech daily and it's my fault.....

I do lots of chartering away in the background but Cos he's playing etc it's not actually TO him....do u see? Does this count?

Thanks

Yes, it does sound like you are doing all the right things. Speech delays are very common at this age and they tend to clear up by themselves without any extra help, however not saying a single word until 3 years old would be considered quite an extreme speech delay and would probably raise concerns by his care providers (considering that typically by 3 years old children are on average saying 5+ word sentences and starting to converse back and forth). Chattering in the background is also good, as at this age their brains are optimized to hone in into their primary carers voices even if not directed at them. Whenever he shows an interest on anything, like for example when he sees something he likes (like maybe a noisy police car passing) make sure you label it when he points at it, keep the labeling simple at this stage, i.e. "it's a car". You can also encourage him to speak using incentives, like for example, holding a car at the top of a ramp and saying "ready, steady" and then waiting for him to say "go" before letting it go (this is how speech therapy works at this age - words means rewards) - it might take a few weeks but he should start saying "go" in order to get the reward, i.e. see the car roll down the ramp.

Having been in your position with a similar child and now with a second son who is 18 months. I've learnt in between the importance of imitation though play and reading. My second has benefit and now knows about 20 words with great understanding. My first only started really speaking at 3.3 months and quickly sped up to 6 word sentences. Look at the role of imitation when you have time.

Sorry 3.3 years. He had a great vocabulary from 2.6 but struggled to put sentences together with verbs.

Hi thanks for all advice

It's great to know that he can hear and pick up words even when not directly at him

Cos he's such a busy bee, always on the move so we do sit and read but he's also stuck in everything so it can be hard to get his attention

The members of my family who spoke at 3 or beyond - one is in his 40s now and very intelligent and the other is 6 and never shuts up talking!!!

Indeed, there is no evidence that speech delays affect future outcomes so once they clear they should be on par with their peers. This is normally because in the early years (up to 3YRS old) speech delays do not affect communication, toddlers with speech delays will compensate by a marked increase in gesturing when compared to a non-speech delayed toddler, i.e. if they don't have the words they need to use their hands more to re-direct attention to themselves and others :)

He gets my attention by crying, climbing on top of me and giving me the book and taking my hand so I can go with him

If he's delayed in speech then he may be delayed pointing as well.

He doesn't point a lot no

Having just finished a block of speech therapy with my DS starting from when he was about 20months here are some of the tips that have really helped:

• put aside just 5mins a day to focus on speech, if you focus on it all day you will burn out!
• in those 5 mins, you need to be completely focused just on speech. Needs to be a calm, quiet environment and 1:1
• in those 5mins try to sit opposite and at eye level. This is likely to mean that you have to move a lot and lie on the floor, but you can use like a coffee table or something that can make it easier.
• don’t say anything until your DS looks at you, then say a word that you think they might want to say in that context. For example car if you’re playing with a car. This works really well for the example Aladdinmum gave for ready steady go. Initially you would make the car go by them just looking at you, and you say go. Then you would wait for them to make a noise, and eventually they say go. You say the word correctly every time too. You might find that you don’t get to say anything for a few goes but he will soon learn to look at you for the word. You can do this for any activity, but ideally you want him to be really interested in it.

You can also do sound effects as a) they are often more fun for the child and b) my speech therapist told me the sounds tend to come just before words

• if he wanders off, stay where you are and really focus on the activity, maybe make some noise, and then only respond by smiling etc if your son comes back - unless you have been going for ages already!

The thing that I found made the biggest difference was my DS looking at my mouth when I speak. He went from no words to having loads (getting very hard to keep track now - prob over 50!), and is starting to join 2 words together now at 23 months. He is still sometimes quite unclear but clarity comes the more he practices a word. We just did one block of 4 weeks with the therapist, but honestly we learnt the technique in the first session, the rest is just putting it into practice.

It all takes quite a lot of work but is so worth it! Good luck!

@Mummy0ftwo12 thats is not how it typically works; speech delays normally translate into a marked increased in the use of gestures in order to compensate for lack of words (which makes logical sense, i.e. an adult would do the same). Speech delays together with a weak gesturing normally tends to suggest more of a global delay (and not just a speech delay) as you yourself have described with your son in previous posts.

@dingdongmer it sounds good, though all the examples you gave seem to be of him trying to meet his needs (something he can't do himself), i.e. he cries because he wants something, he pulls you to a room because I assume he wants something from that room, he gives you a book as he wants the book to be read, etc. How does he share his 'world' and interests with you? not because he wants or needs help with something but just for the sole purpose of sharing an experience. For example, if he sees something of interest in the distance (like a plane or a big bird), or if he finds something interesting in the floor like an interesting rock or large leaf in the park, or if he sees something funny, or if he does something that he is particularly proud of like putting a shape through the correct hole in a shape sorter?

I nearly forgot, but something which receives little attention but is important in language development and has been mentioned in other posts is imitation and pretend play. From 18M onwards toddlers increase their pretend play and imitation skills to new levels (they have been practicing since 12M old) and research tends to suggest that this is highly correlated with speech development - so for example, signing new songs where he needs to learn and follow new actions is a very good exercise to practice :)

He shares his world with me by laughing and chatting away etc but he's a quiet child sometimes and loves reading

@AladdinMum - 'Speech delays together with a weak gesturing normally tends to suggest more of a global delay (and not just a speech delay) as you yourself have described with your son in previous posts.'

I have never suggested that a delay in gesturing suggests a global delay, a delay in speech and language - yes, but not global, global delay was never on the radar for my ds it was either autism or s&l delay.

But saying that, if a child is only delayed in speech and not language then i can see your point that gestures might not be delayed. But if delayed in both s&l then i do think that pointing may well be delayed - as has been mentioned on these boards many times. Likewise pretend play can be delayed with a s&l delay as it was for my ds and is one of his diagnosis's.

Keeping back ground noise to a minimum so tv, radio etc helps a lot. Offering choices - would you like an apple or banana, and naming objects clearly. Encouraging language as much as possible - sounds obvious but we often respond to gestures as skip the language part.

I would also say blowing noses regularly to clear congestion from Eustachian tubes especially n winter with all the colds going around.

@Mummy0ftwo12 apologies, my use of the words 'global delay' was not correct as a global delay normally also implies delays in motor skills. I meant to say that delays in or weak gesturing could be indicative of delays in more than just speech, so as you mentioned receptive language, pretend play, possible social delays, etc.

My mum said I was delayed doing a lot of things. I didn't read until I was 7 and never stopped even now!! And I think my speech was late too

@dingdongmer reading by 7 is not too bad, on average most children start reading from between 6-7 years old. They start recognizing their name in written form (and other short words) from 2-3 years old, however this not considered reading, it is more pattern recognition, but impressive to see as it does look like they are reading :)

@AladdinMum - OP sorry for hijacking, this is not aimed in any way at your DS :-)

isn't the elephant in the room in these kind of threads MLD? from what I've read speech and language delay can be caused by Autism/MLD or a pure s&l delay, your posts seem to imply that a pure s&l delay is uncommon. I can't say yet if my DS has MLD, at 4 he's brilliant with numbers/puzzles way ahead of where his sibling was at that age, but according to the EYFS he's behind generally speaking, maybe he just has a spikey profile, to soon to say - but all the professionals involved in his MDA / ADOS agree that its a delay not a disorder.

first thing - has he had a good hearing check - always best to discount this. I was taught by speech therapist to use a balloon put his cheek on balloon & say noises like bah, moo , or what ever. Ask him to bring things to you -first of all bring me car, book or ball. Than try big car or big ball. than try colours basic red yellow blue etc - aim is to see how much he understands &whether he is a word holder (a dc who understands speech but doesn't speak yet rather than one who doesn't understands)

He hears fine and brings me things when I ask etc