Wetting

[LexB]

Ds who is 3.2 potty trained at 2.11 and was pretty reliable using a potty chair especially at home. We now have two problems and I don't know if either or both are physical or psychological and if they are related! The 1st prob is that he has developed a fear of going in public loos, even though when we first started training he was ok about public loos. Now he often won't say he needs to wee when we are out and so it waits until I notice a bit of wetness. Then he won't go in a public loo at all. If I take him in he acts really scared and refuses to go on the potty Normally I have to take him outside somewhere where he will use the potty. (This is really hard as I also have a 9 month dd!) There was one occasion when he went mad because we had to wait in a parents and child room in John Lewis when I had to do an emergency feed for dd, maybe it is related to that?

The 2nd prob is that at home he now rarely seems to make it to the loo in time to prevent slight wetness of trousers and pants. I just don't know what to do - could the wetness at home be due to a urine infection?
Thanks!

ATTENTION! Strikes me he is feeling unsettled about the baby coming and this is how it is showing itself. Ignore everything that has gone on. Clean him up when he wets and try and avoid having to use loos when out. If you show him that you take his fears seriously the chances are it will all blow over.

My ds developed a fear of pooing on the toilet (he's over it now tho'.) IMO All you can do is be patient and wait for them to grow out of it.

Thanks - could be attention. We are going through a particularly difficult time now that the baby is crawling. He has other behaviour issues like being too physical with the baby, pulling/pushing her away when she gets too close to his toys, snatching etc. Come to think of it I need strategies for that too! I have tried time-out but then worried that that made him feel more resentful about the baby. Now I'm just trying to be firm and telling him that that is not acceptable.

Today I tried a coin reward for wees + dry pants which was ok until we were at the shops and he didn't have the required 5 coins needed for a new pack of pens and then had a tantrum. Feel like I'm doing everything wrong, wrong, wrong. Need to bath them now, instead of being on Mumsnet!

Sounds like he is doing OK with a few blips. Nothing ever goes to plan does it!

DS1 was trained easily at 2.9. However, don't know if it is a boy thing but he went through a stage of being a bit been there and done it stage and had accidents. It was a bit of a control thing. It all was resolved in nursery. Mind u he is 5 now and still has minor accidents now and again when he is engrossed will always say no when asked. However, normally do the just try if nothing comes out no problems.

DS2 is a different case all together. He is nearly 3.5 can do wees but often just wants to weat nappies. Few other SN issues and has been referred to the glamorous sounding constipation and soiling clinic.

Constipation and soiling clinic??! That is enough to give anyone a complex!

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