1 year old 'tantrums'

[Lovage]

My one year old has started having what I'm reluctant to call 'tantrums'. It's very clearly when he wants to do something or go somewhere and we won't let him. It's a distinctive cry with a high pitched scream in it that isn't in any of his other types of cries. They don't usually last long (maybe 30 seconds tops) and you can usually distract him, although I don't want to do that all the time because I want him to know what he wants.

I'm not worried about them or feeling I need to prevent it or anything - in fact in a funny way it's good to see because it's really important to me that he has a clear sense of who he is and what he wants (family history reasons). But I wondered if anyone knew any good resources about this aspect of development in babies this young. Most of the stuff I've seen about 'tantrums' seems to be aimed at children about 2 years old. I'd welcome anything that gave me another name for it than 'tantrums' particularly! Asserting his will, maybe?

I used pull up nappies with ds at this age as he SO hated laying down for nappy change. Always changed him standing up. Bit more challenging on the getting everything clean front but no problem compared to attempting a lay down nappy change

I think you just have to persevere with the buggy thing. Obviously make sure she has an interesting toy to hold or attached to the buggy, (save a treat for when she goes in there - something to eat?) I think alot of kids hate the buggy at this stage but it can pass, my ds loved his buggy when he was two/three. I used to do racing cars with him in the buggy, they tend to love sudden spurts of speed!

Really sympathising with you all. Particularly the kids that play up in the highchair. Mine is always pointing his finger everywhere and I can never identify what it is he actually wants! Any ideas?

Tru1 - they grow out of the not liking their nappy changed eventually - all you can really do is persevere and use distraction tactics - try hanging a mobile above the cot or giving books to play with - a small book of family photos worked well for us for a while - this went on for months with us then it just suddenly stopped!

As far as the buggy is concerned if you need to use the buggy then you just have to use brute force (within reason obviously) to strap them in each time until eventually they realise its not worth bothering with - we didn't really have a problem with the buggy but getting in the carseat was our flashpoint - again you just have to keep calm and eventually something clicks and they just don't bother making a fuss anymore...

My DD is nearly 13 months and I've spotted a couple of those mini-tantrums the past couple of weeks. It's like she turned one and her development leapt forward immediately. The girls at nursery said she'd been having a bit of a scream at lunchtime for a week or so after our holiday, and I thought they were exaggerating until I saw her - I think it's just sheer frustration.
As for the pointing thing, the moment anyone picks her up she points at anything and everything - I think she just wants things named and labelled. So we go round the house or garden naming everything she points to, when we have time. Otherwise it's more like 'yes, that's daddy's keys, well done, now eat up...'
Every day is a mystery and an adventure, eh?

Bumping this for anyone currently going through the one year old tantrums. It's nice to know you have company.

DS has been having hairy fits when denied the mobile phone/laptop/box of tissues. Full on high pitched scream, arched back and kicking legs.

I'm so glad you bumped this VF as I'm going through exactly this at the moment with my 15 mo DS. The last couple of nights have been particularly bad -if I don't get him into his cot within seconds of finishing his milk he arches his back and screams and punches me in the neck. I don't know whether I should just be giving into him and getting him immediately into his cot or whether I should be trying to hold onto him til he calms down (which is becoming impossible as he's so strong) What makes it even harder is that he has much more of a bond with DH and I'm beginning to feel like he doesn't like me -he's never been an affectionate child but seems particularly averse to me -if I try and hug him or hold him he kicks off and even though I know it's irrational I'm feeling really rejected by him. DH doesn't help as I feel he thinks it's my fault -he can't seem to understand why I don't have a bond with DS and keeps telling me what I'm doing wrong -he doesn't like being held etc.

I just feel like a worthless mum -like DH is fulfilling the roe of nurterer and carer and I'm just this person who is around to be screamed at and kicked. I just don't think I have a very good bond and I don't know how to fix it but it's breaking my heart.

I don't always feel this bad it's just been a particularly bad week.

Hi

Just to say that my little girl who is almost 13 months has started the exact same tantrums! - arching her back when she doesn't want to go into chair/highchair/buggy and screaming - LOUDLY!! It was really embarrassing last week when she did her first proper public tantrum at the end of a bounce & rhyme session - refusing to get into the buggy and really screaming. All the other little 'cherubs' were behaving perfectly. Eventually forced her into the buggy and she was then fine within a couple of minutes! but it has put me off taking her to baby groups at the moment!

VMama - no useful advice just to say it sounds like you're having a really difficult time and I'm sorry. I sometimes think that my DD prefers her dad as he is much more patient with her than me! It may be that you spend more time with your DS if DH is out at work more than you and in which case you're bound to experience more 'problems' than your DH who probably isn't at home as much as you are?

I try to content myself with the thought that ds will calm down when he's older. That he's building his character and imagination now!

Tonight was another screaming match to get him into his jammies. Then he'd crawl away and launch himself at the pillows on the bed, and laugh and do it again and again!

Crazy babies.

Yes, came on here looking for advice following an incident this morning with my just 1 year old DS who has been having tantrums for the last 6 weeks or so. He was, with me, crawling down the stairs, his new thing, and on the landing I moved him slightly and he want ballistic, and started driving his forehead into the bannisters, which are square edged... I was pretty shocked...
Like others here, he has a really high pitched scream, and it all escalates very quickly, then subsides fairly quickly too, but wow, the rage....
He will throw his head back too. He is just about to start walking, and teething generally so think he is pretty frustrated. Nice to read others stories here for a bit of reassurance!!!
Otherwise he's a pretty happy little man but is certainly becomming more demanding.