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Pulling my hair out and not sure what next

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Polydactyly · 07/12/2019 16:31

DS (7) seems to have behavioural problems that have lead to the school putting him on SEN.
He doesn't have a diagnosis at all. The doctors have said he shows signs of anxiety but that's it.
He point blank refuses to do as he's told. He will often forget what he's been told straight away and if you ask him why he's not doing what he's been asked to do he says it's because he's bored.
Today, he has damaged the carpet in his room and once again damaged the wall. I can no longer afford anything for Christmas because the carpet and wall need replacing/repairing before our next inspection.
I'm absolutely gutted.
We try gentle parenting and focusing on just rewarding good behaviour but he never does anything good that we can reward him for.
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong or how to fix it.
He also steals and lies all the time and he makes a good show of crying when he thinks he's about to be in trouble and milliseconds later suddenly stopping the waterworks and being happy as Larry as if nothing bad has happened at all.
What do I do? Has anyone hit a brick wall like this and found something that actually works?

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