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Biting, kicking and hitting 3 year old violent behaviour

3 replies

Karen890 · 02/12/2019 19:43

My little boy has just turned 3. For the last six months I’ve had a pretty tough time with him in terms of biting, kicking and hitting. He doesn’t do this to anyone but me. His behaviour can be triggered by a tantrum, tiredness or just because he feels like it tbh.

Eg of today. Pre nap I was bitten multiple times on shoulder, wrist and neck
Post bath I was drying him and he kicked me in eye and then face
During play together he ran up to me and bit me on bottom

I feel pretty distraught, worthless and struggling to know where to turn.
I feel like I’m a victim of domestic violence. I’m covered in bruises from his bites which often draw blood. He thinks nothing of using any toy as a weapon against me.

I try to remain calm after he has done this to me, although often do get upset. A punched nose hurts! I talk to him and tell him he is hurting mummy. Mummy doesn’t like biting and kicking. But nothing changes.

I often place him in the cot as a calm down place.... although minutes later it often escalates again.

He is otherwise a bright and lovely little boy. A total angel when out. But like a demon the minute we open the front door.

I feel so alone and to be honest rock bottom with constant battles and battering.
Any advice welcome and other mums going through this would be lovely to talk. I feel pretty awful right now 😢

OP posts:
mebeforeyou · 03/12/2019 14:02

I can’t offer any particular advice sorry by I didn’t want to read and run either. Your DS behaviour does sound a bit extreme, particularly in regards to the biting.

Do you have a Sure Start children’s centre nearby? They have Family Support Workers who will be able to help you or point you in the right direction. Failing that, can you contact a Health Visitor or your GP?

Do persevere with the professionals and don’t be fobbed off with ‘that’s ok behaviour for his age’ etc.

Also suggest you post this in Chat or AIBU as these Behaviour boards can be pretty quiet. Good luck x

Karen890 · 03/12/2019 15:08

Thank you for your reply! X

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 03/12/2019 15:22

This is a very normal stage of behaviour. If its extreme you may want a little bit of help to sort it. The first tactic is to pre empt it as far as possible, look for the signs and act very very quickly. A seriously harsh NO! Followed by walking away. The voice needs to shock him a little. No amount of reasoning will work at this age and he will struggle with empathy. Often its for attention or the response. Punishment is of little value as is a naughty step/time out. The point is to extinguish the behaviour you dont want and reward the one you want. The best response is that he loses your company for a few minutes and you come back to him for a cuddle and none biting contact. Biting is a great novelty to a toddler and can be quite confusing. I wouldnt try to explain why he must stop, just be consistant in you refusal to accept it. Its far easier if you can nip it just before the strike rather than react once its done. If he does it to other children you must watch vigilantly when he plays and nip it before the bite. Fortunately biting has some pretty obvious body language before the teeth hit flesh. What ever you do NEVER EVER bite hime back

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