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why do some people think that anyone thay says anything positive about pg cb bf etc is trying to be competative

3 replies

pregnantbabyelephant · 21/08/2007 18:39

why is it almost seen as bad to say anything positive about your experience of
either getting pregnant
pregnancy
childbirth
babies
child behaviour

why if a mum says anything like
i did really well in labour i didnt need any pain relief in a matter of fact way
do people think shes acting like its a competion

or that for EXAMPLE
they got pg really quickly
they had an easy pregnancy
coped great in childbirth
find breastfeeding easy
baby sleeps though the night
child does well at school

obv all these things have not, i repeat not happened to me
i wish !

however i have noticed that anytime some feels they have done something well for example had a good birth/no pain relief etc

or say they felt great during pregnancy

do others say its not a competion
it like they cant talk honestly about there experience

and what should some one with a v bright child do when that child exceeds at school not say so incase they offend anyone ?

am not talking about myself
had a v diff pregnancy
v diff birth which ended up with me in the operating theater after birth
crap recovery
lots of probs bf
still probs bf

so im certainly not talking about my exprience
but ive noticed others getting all pissing about it when some mums talk about there good experiences ie childbirth

i just think good for you

well i noticed two women talking at the baby clinic about births 1st one was saying how well she did with no pain relief etc
with pride
and quite right to imo
and then the person she was chatting to say well theres no medals for bravery!
in quite a putting down way

i really dont think she was boasting or saying it was easy for me so should be for everyone
she was actually saying how lucky she had been

just made me feel like is this what motherhoods like? why can we celebrate things together and support each other more?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
scattyspice · 21/08/2007 20:16

Because if the person you're talking to has had a bad time they might feel criticised or inferior whether you have that opinion or not.
I tend to say 'I've been lucky/unlucky' rather than 'I did really well/badly' because usually it is just luck.

KTNoo · 21/08/2007 22:34

I think it's because the culture in UK is not too good at celebrating success of any kind. I live abroad and have found this not to be the case in some other countries. You can say something great about yourself or your kids and it's just taken in a matter of fact way. I suppose it depends who you're talking to - some people are always going to be highly sensitive and take offence more.

scattyspice · 22/08/2007 11:39

True KTNoo.

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