Tantrums!!

[Cheeseandpickle1]

Ahh where do I start?!
My 1yro is having the most awful tantrums, he will throw his whole body backwards and he doesn’t care if he hits his head in the meantime. He throws himself back even in my arms and has made my nose bleed frequently.

My 3yro used to have awful tantrums and still sometimes does, although now they’re a lot more manageable.
Both my boys have strong characters and are very strong willed.
I’ve had my own personal issues during the last month so I’ve probably struggled with handling the temper tantrums abit more than usual. I look at my friends children, especially girls and they seem such angels. Don’t get me wrong I know all children come with their own downfalls, if that’s what you would call them. So I’m not in denial, I just don’t know why my toddler has such a short temper. If he has something in his hand that he shouldn’t and I take it off him gently, he will throw himself backwards even on our tiled kitchen floor. I always have to predict it to save his landing.

I just feel so low from it all and there’s always something with him. I’m really struggling with his personality. He is just pushing limits I know this but it’s absolutely draining.
I would love to try for a little girl in the future but his tantrums are genuinely making me reconsider trying for another at all! I don’t think I could put up with this again.

DH works abroad so it’s just myself and my 15yro step daughter at home with the boys. I think DH thinks I just can’t handle it and my job as a stay at home mum should be easier than I make it out to be. So I get no sympathy or understanding from his side.

[Cheeseandpickle1]

I must mention aswel whenever I feel like I’ve had enough my mother in law will step in. Or my parents will and obviously he acts like an angel to them and they don’t see his angry personality. So it’s almost like I’m making this up!!

[Wrigleys123]

Does the 15 year old ever help out? Your DH needs to be more understanding, you are effectively a single parent if he works abroad. I'd leave your boys with him for 24 hours when he gets home and see what he has to say then. He is totally disrespecting everything you do and his lack of understanding is really not on.

Tantrums are not any easier in girls, my DD is an absolute nightmare!

Hope you can get a break sometime soon

[Jannt86]

Ahhhh it's such a hard age isn't it because they don't hide their emotions one bit and yet they nowhere near have the congnition to manage them. My 19MO is by no means the most sparky child of her age but she definitely knows how to let you know she isn't happy and definitely knows how to grind your gears by doing things she shouldn't be haha. Mine is also a whiner which I'm afraid I just have to tune out a lot of the time haha as it's bloody annoying. My LO is quite advanced ITO her receptive language but it's only really in the last few weeks that I've felt that she has the ability to think retrospectively about her behaviour and really respond to any kindof real discipline and even now I don't leave her alone to manage her emotions. If we really can't tolerate a certain behaviour (a biggie atm for example is being far too rough with the kitten) then we give her a warning and then go together to the stair for 'thinking time' and then we explain why she's there and cuddles. I personally think if a baby at this age is 'tantruming' then the best thing to do is to acknowlege the emotion 'oooo you're very angry/frustrated/sad' and stay with them and give cuddles if they'll allow until it's over and then when they've settled down talk through what's happened and try and help them rationalise it. It's tough especially when they don't yet have the language or planning abilities to respond to reinforcement but just take a deep breath, remember that it's a normal developmental stage and if in doubt just give them a big cuddle as you really can't spoil them with love as cheesy as that might sound. Good luck xx

[surreygirl1987]

My one year old is exactly the same. He is such hard work. I tell myself it's a phase that will eventually pass... I hope so anyway!! I work 3 days a week so he is nursery on those days and apparently he is an absolute Angel there!!
I'm also pregnant with my second. I will have 2 under 2. God help me if the second one is the same as my first!!