Concerned about almost 4 year old's speech

[Rally123]

I'm becoming concerned that I can't have a proper conversation with my 3.10 year old DD. She does talk quite a lot - comments on things, role plays with her toys and asks for things.

However, she never tells me about anything she's done when I'm not there, be it at nursery, a trip out with someone etc. If I ask her a question she usually says that she doesn't know or that she'll tell me later. I've also noticed that her speech often consists of phrases she's heard elsewhere - from me, a tv show etc, albeit always in context.

Does anyone have any thoughts on or experience of this? I feel like she is falling behind her peers in this area. Nursery don't have any concerns although she is quiet and compliant there (although not at home!). I feel a bit sad that she doesn't tell me things and I'm starting to worry.

Does she answer you at all when you ask her about what she's been doing? When I ask my DS (same age) about his morning at nursery etc he's often reluctant to tell me/says he doesn't remember etc, but I've heard it's normal! He'll offer snippets at random times, almost as if he doesn't like being put under pressure when I ask him straight away.

How about questions, does she ask you things eg why/how, what's that, where does x come from, do you like x etc?

I get occasional snippets, but they really are very, very occasional!

She asks 'why' a lot, 'what's that' but hasn't progressed to questions like where does x come from.

The Talking Point website is good for reassurance about where children should be.

I don't think it's unusual at all to not divulge much about her day at nursery etc, so many people tell me their child is the same! What about if you approach a conversation a different way, eg talk about what you're going to do on the weekend etc? Will she answer properly then? My DS is also more willing to talk about his day when I've been there, ie if we're saying "we had a lovely day today, we did xyz" etc. Could you try that?

That is a massive topic for a child of 6 or 7. So will be even more of a struggle to a younger child. A what did you do today question is probably too much to comprehend. If someone asked you at the end of the day what did you do today, you might be able to list things because you have the skills to compartmentalise your day, but time and order are still things a 4 year old is still learning to process. Maybe ask staff at nursery what she did, then talk about those specific areas. You could start a conversation with a comment and say I had a sandwich for lunch today what did you enjoy about your lunch (just as an example) . If nursery are not worried and she understands the boundaries of the setting then she is doing really well. She is able to talk in coherent sentences which have meaning and are well structured she is bang on where she should be. If she can use language as a tool to make herself understood, her listening and attention skills are age appropriate then I think everything is fine. Jogging their memory rather than broad questions is a really good way to find out what they did today.
I hope this helps