16m old starting hitting out - is this normal?

[brunettemum]

Hi. Am more of a lurker really, but this has been worrying me for a little while and would appreciate some advice. I have been back at work for six months, and dd1 is with a great childminder for four days a week. Everything has been working out fine; except recently she has started hitting out when not getting her own way.

So... is this normal? If so, is it instinctive, or must she have learnt it? Neither me or DH have EVER hit her. So my worry is that if she has learnt it from somewhere - where? I am hoping you are all going to say it's normal and instinctive What do you think?

Hi Brunette I have a 16m dd and she has started screaming (very loud) and hitting me if I stop her doing something she wants to (usually something very dangerous) I am pretty sure her brother now 3 was quite similar at that age.

At 16m they are just getting more physically capable and want to participate in the world around them but don't yet have the common sense or communication skills to cope - yet. I am sure dd is picking up bad habits from her brother as well - but hitting out in frustration is common - The intention isn't to hurt - merely to express the frustration or anger they are feeling.

Hello, my son is 20 months and has been hitting out recently as well.

got interuppted by dd waking up then. I can't offer advice exactly - more reassurance that this behaviour is not unheard of. It won't be for ever - as your dd develops other ways of getting her point across - screaming, tantrums, runing away etc. - sorry it isn't actually all bad!!

I just let dd vent and then she is all smiles again soon enough and all is forgotten! hth

Thank you bmsa... that makes me feel better. I also did a search after posting on '16 month hitting' and it turned up loads of similar stories! I am not alone! I was worried she was learning it at cm's (not from cm i hasten to add - from the other children) but it seems as though it's a natural stage in their development. It's a right pain though - trying to ignore it when she does it, but not always easy.

Brunettemum, don't worry, it's a really really common developmental phase that lots of toddlers go through around this age. It's all part of becoming more aware of their bodies and the world around them, it is definitely NOTHING to do with anything you have/haven't done or a measure of your standard of parenting . So don't worry.

The best thing to do is be consistent with how you deal with it. I used to catch hold of their arms and say 'gently' then stroke my arm with their hand and repeat 'gently'. It sounds daft but it helped a bit .

Oh you have to have the patience of a saint, the instincts of a cat and nerves of steel - but you will miss this stage when she is properly out of babyhood and fully into toddlerdom.

my dd is 16 months and ive had a black eye already (thanks to a leap frog learning drum with a raging dd on the other end) i think its just that they can't express themselves properly so they get frustrated.

well i hope so anyway

my Ds is 14.5 months and he hits out - neither my DH or I do (I'm a SAHM) so it must be instinctive. I get worried as he is the only one amongst his peers who does it but from the sounds of this thread it won't be long until the others follow suit! Looks like yet another phase!

my 20 month old dd has just stared doing this as well.she was such an angel before,now she just goes up to ds2(4)and slaps him and laughs.ds2 did exactly the same at the same age,even though ive never smacked either of them.i say 'NO!' when she does it,it used to stop her but now she just says 'yes' and laughs and does it again.

so glad its just a phase!