Stories/experiences where 18mo hasn't been talking much...

[Kittypillar]

Has anybody got any positive (or negative is fine too, to prepare myself) stories about their 18 month old not speaking much and what happened next?

I'm feeling really worried about my DD and I'm struggling to stop. She'll be 18 months next month and the only words she says reliably are "dada" (also her most favoured babbling sound) and "hi". We've had the occasional "cat" and "ta" as well but not often or clearly. I'm noticing how much more her friends who are the same age are saying and it breaks my heart a little. I've had post-partum anxiety since I had her, which is an ongoing process for me to deal with, so I do wonder if that's why my husband thinks I'm being worried for no reason...

A few other points for context:

• she was a late babbler, took her until she was about 10 months to really start going for the consonant sounds. Before that it was lots of ah, ee, ooh sounds.
• she's a very interactive kiddo, really interested in people, good eye contact.
• she claps, waves, points at things. Shares interest in things, looks at me as she laughs at something to see if I find it funny too.
• her understanding is great. If I ask her to go get her coat, a particular book or toy, she knows what to do. She also knows if you ask to point to her tummy, nose, ears etc.
• she won't attempt to say words back to me often - usually when I say a word to her, she just replies with "da", which is her usual babble sound.
• we have asked the HV to refer her for a hearing check, so we're waiting for an appointment.

I keep wondering if it's just a delay to speech or something more. We do have autism in my family (my nephew) but she doesn't seem to tick many boxes for that except for the speech delay, but I might be missing something... Because of the anxiety I had after I had her, I didn't take her to nearly as many baby classes or groups as I had wanted to, and I can't help but wonder if this delay in speaking is all my fault because she wasn't socialised enough that tied in with some insensitive comments from my in-laws ("She STILL isn't saying Mama?!" was a real knife in the heart as far as comments go).

Anyway, experiences and advice would be really appreciated please. Sorry for the rambling

At 18m my DS only really had one sound (I hesitate to call it a word) for go, despite babbling ma and da etc. He’d already had a hearing test showing moderate hearing loss from glue ear, and my DH has a history of having problems with speech sounds so I’ve been super paranoid about his speech.

So we have worked with a private speech therapist who basically said that his major problem is that he is so active, he doesn’t stop to look at us when we’re speaking. That’s not to say he didn’t interact with us, coz he really did but he was looking at what we were doing not our mouths. So we’ve just finished a block of 4 weeks of therapy which basically involves spending just 5 mins a day playing with him and not talking until he looks at us, then just saying a single word (bit more to it but that’s the general sense).

The difference 4 weeks makes is amazing! He is saying so much more (not always clearly!). Sadly still no mummy or daddy but I think he knows he doesn’t need to call for us coz we will always come/ are already there... but he is trying to communicate where he wasn’t bothered before.

I don’t think that going to baby groups makes any difference to language development so please don’t feel bad about that. The most important factor is that you talk to her, and really to try to make sure you have her attention when you speak. But like I said, we only spend 5mins a day with a real focus on speech. But if course talking lots the rest of the time really helps with understanding.

To me, it sounds like your DD has a speech delay, but sounds a lot like my son who I’m pretty sure is NT. worth talking to your HV about your concerns, even if it’s just for some reassurance - asking isn’t going to do any harm.

Hope she makes progress for you really soon!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply @Kle209! That's really reassuring to hear that that can be the case and doing some exercises like that would help.

Like your son, my DD is very active. Was walking and crawling early, running and always wanting to go on adventures. So maybe that does play a part for her too. I'm hoping she is NT also, her understanding is good so fingers crossed that is the case. But like you say, either way it's worth getting some support, even if just for peace of mind.

Hope all continues to improve with your son also, sounds like he's coming alone really well

Ds1 had very few words at 18 months. He was a late babbler too. I was a bit worried but by 2 he started progressing really well. By his second birthday he had about 50 words and started putting 2 together. He’s 2.5 now and won’t shut up he had a huge word explosion a couple of months ago and he’s caught up to all the other toddlers who were talking in full sentences at 18m. It’s worth keeping an eye on it in case you need a referral for speech therapy but really wouldn’t worry about this at 18m

At 18M only 8 words are expected, and that includes animals sounds. Is she able to do any animal sounds? if you ask her what does th cow say? You list four words that would count as words, and she will be 18M next month and a lot will happen by then (easily pick up another 4 words). Her list of positives is also really strong, I really don't think there is anything to worry about here :)

Thank you both so much @Minai and @AladdinMum, that's really reassuring to read. We have an appointment now to get her hearing checked at the end of November (I had to really argue my case for it as HV was pretty reluctant) so we'll see what happens there.

@AladdinMum unfortunately no animal noises either, not for lack of trying on my part. When I do them, I can see her really studying me intently (sometimes it almost looks like she's really considering giving it a go, if that makes sense?) but she either won't attempt it back or will just come out with a "da" noise. Since I wrote this, she's said something that sounded like "cow" a couple of times when I've showed her how to say that but we'll see if that becomes one she uses regularly.

I'm sure it must be so frustrating for her not being able to communicate as much as she'd like, it genuinely feels like she understands nearly everything I ever ask her. I really hope she'll get there but I keep beating myself up about it at the moment