Hi everyone I hope this is ok to ask. I'm abit worried about my DD at the moment... I've wrote a few posts lately. Currently I'm leaning towards it being her age etc. But I still have a part of me preparing to have some trouble with her over the years and perhaps have a behavioural problem one day.
To give context. My DD is four. She was a very happy contented baby. Easy to care for. Really happy. Fed well. Crying was rare and usually only with pain or if I didn't have the bottle ready when she woke up. Crawled at 9 months, walked at 13. Huge list of words by 2 years. Loved dancing. Loved outdoor play.
When she was almost three her brother was born. No massive signs of jealousy at all. In fact she loves her brother and has never been unkind to him. But she did go mute for two months when we left the house. At the time I was worried but we got her back to chatting when we left our house. The problem is since then she has never been the same with other adults. My friend and her son she is fine with. My parents don't handle it great and therefore she gets nervous around them and it can take her ages to speak to them. On the phone she will talk the ears of anyone though. She sometimes speaks to my sister. She takes ages but will talk to my partner's mum. She won't talk to strangers who say hello etc. She chooses to nod and smile. She is really bossy at chatty with me and her dad and can be absolutely hilarious with what she says. She has a great sense of humour.
She attended nursery from the age of three for 16 months until she started school. She had a couple of friends at nursery. I saw them regularly holding her hand etc in tapestry. They described her as shy and said she likes to ask the staff where everyone is etc. She has a great memory and liked to know where the cook was etc.
We went to her leaving party and I felt like she was the quietest child there. She happily went on the stage for her award. Other kids cried. Then when it was time to take part in games and she wasn't interested at all. The entertainer had all the kids shouting answers out and dancing for sweets. She got a balloon and hung around near us by herself. She didn't get any sweets etc like the others. I did feel the staff were busy chatting and perhaps could of done more to get her involved but hey ho they didn't.
She started school and happily tells me she has friends and who she plays with. She enjoys school. We get great comments in her reading diary. That helps me to know she is chatting to the teacher. We had parents evening and we were told she's gorgeous, lovely, well behaved but is struggling to transition. They have to remind her a lot to do simple parts of the routine like put her bottle in the drinks tray every morning. She is getting better. She has improved with her cutting and holding a pencil so she got a merit last week. They have senco helping with a chart etc to inspire her to try new things as she sticks to the art table ... I think it's her safe place where she can hide abit. She was like this at nursery she'd be at the art table all day. Obviously I want her to try other things and try sit with a child and build or do roleplay etc. She just hasn't got into that yet. They described her as abit of a loner to me too which upset me. I thought she was mixing ok from what she said. She never looks apart of things in tapestry things. The other children seem to look proud of themselves etc. She's always at the back or the end on pictures. Doesn't seem to be sat with a buddy etc. She's freaked out by hand dryers but that's the only noise so she goes to the loo last.
Friendship and socialisng is probably her weakest area. She can't cope with playdates if I'm around. She hates me speaking too or helping other kids. She Is ok with a couple of the kids we see at the gates in the morning but friends she's known ages get told of for coming near me or the pushchair. We have managed to work on this as my friend is fab and will ask her to walk the dog with her so her son can walk near me. She goes swimming and is good and kind and follows the instructions. She's probably the weakest on the class at the moment but she's picking it up and has only been going three months. She says the odd word to her teacher now. Not many but some.
She has no obsessions or stresses around routines or foods. I think it's mainly her social qualities that are not great.
I'm really sorry if this is repetitive or samey. On my last post I got lots of fantastic helpful replies. I just thought I'd write down what I can to give as much info as possible on this.
My auntie is an ex social worker and has worked with loads of children and families. She seems to think it's all normal. A child she looks after is very possesive of her a.d she feels the quietness is not mutism as she has met children with this. She also thinks she's doing well and is transitioning at her own pace.
Trying to enjoy the school holidays but we went to my mum's yesterday and she wouldn't say bye or thankyou for her treat money. She was very thankful and smiled and waved but could not bring herself to say thanks 😕