Tantrums when eating out

[Caz1412]

I’ve got a 17 month old, at home, I’m well practiced at dealing with tantrums. I can gauge what’s causing it and act accordingly, sometimes I ignore it and it stops rapidly, sometimes he needs a firm No and removing from the situation. Other times, I tell him to go and give his fave teddy a cuddle and he will cuddle it and shuggle on the sofa until he is calm. This works for us. I’m not sure if this is the ‘right approach’ as we have good days and bad days but mostly I feel I have it under control.

However!! Restaurants, cafes etc. Can be an absolute nightmare! If it’s somewhere where food is instant, we tend to be okay, he’s a happy lad, carverys and Pizza Hut buffet are great 😂 but if it’s somewhere you have to wait for food, he will scream, throw things, kick, hit me etc. It’s complete boredom and being confined to a high chair. Crayons, cars, toys only work for so long. I’m not complaining that these tantrums happen, it’s more about how to stop them when they do? I have tried letting him cry and I can’t stand the looks! I have tried removing him from the cafe and he was so happy he Screamed when I tried to go back in, which is annoying when you’ve paid for food!

I’m just wary as I would hate to have a screaming one year old if I was trying to enjoy my food somewhere 😩😂

I would give him some light snacks (rice cakes or a breadstick) to try and tide him over for a while.

DD always hated sitting still in a highchair so one person had to walk around with her until the food came. Needless to say, we only ate anywhere with plenty of space for a long time. She’s 2.5 now and much more civilised!

Learning starts at home.

I guess at home he only goes in his high chair when meal is ready and less than a minute he is strapped in, food is there.
Of course , at restaurants there are waiting times, so maybe start practicing at home to have him seated without food being there. Make it a book time. Have several books, and when going out take the books with you.

The best is for him to learn to sit at a table. So when you are having breakfast, lunch and dinner, if he is awake, have him sit with you. And possibly start having meals all together, and do not remove him from the table when he is finished but the other are not, unless he is really distressed.
Then, one afternoon, go for a coffee for you and babycino for him and so on.
A massive mistake is to entertain him ALL the time. Kids need to learn that there are moments in which nothing fun is happening and that sometimes you have to sit still.

There are a lot a learning for a toddler. From brushing the teeth to social behaviour and at 17 months is the correct age to learn to sit in public. It won't happen overnight, but if you persevere and are calm it will. Make the table the place where food happen. Have him in his chair 3-4 minutes before his plate appears, talking to him saying, mum is finishing your lunch, it is almost ready and so on.

I would imagine this to be quite typical. Would the solution not just be to not go to any restaurants where you have to wait too long for the food? or not go to restaurants until she is a little older as she is clearly not enjoying the experience so far.