Concerns about 2yo DD

[Mamawith2]

Before I share my concerns, I want to start by saying I will be addressing these issues with my daughters Dr at her 2y appointment next month....I'm just worried her symptoms aren't stereotypical asd enough to warrant a referral to a behavioral pediatrician. Here are my concerns....

-always a very serious baby....have to work hard for social smiles (apparently husband was like this though)

-doesn't like much affection....doesn't give hugs or lean in for hugs (occasionally will with husband)

-doesn't really wave hi or bye without prompting

-super smart in some ways (knows letters and letter sounds, numbers, matching, sorting, counting, etc...)

-has to be reminded to greet us often (she will run to the door and hug me when I come home) but instead of saying "hi" she makes statements about us like...."mama work" after I come home from work or "mama night night too" after I get her out of the crib in the morning. She does say hi to me sometimes...just not that often unless we prompt her to.

-has been into counting on her fingers a lot

-when runs she sometimes look out of the side of her eye with her head turned

-some echolalia

-doesn't like to interact with adults....but likes kids

-fleeting eye contact....terrible eye contact up close and often when she asks for something shell look at the object vs us. During songs, or conversations from far away she can hold our gaze for a while

-adhd can't sit still for a while

-sometimes shuts down in social settings and won't interact with even mom and dad much

Positives....
-always wants to copy husband and i
-asks for us to come play with her
-does some pretend play (feeds toy animals, makes animals "kiss")
-has joint interest (points us things shes excited about and looks to make sure we're paying attention)
-talks about her cousins and likes playing with them
-can be really goofy and involves us in her games
-understands some sarcasm
-no really speech delay-no pronouns but uses some sentences and asks some questions
-receptive language seems good

She passes autism tests here in the US (mchat) as low risk. I'm worried the Dr won't take my concerns seriously enough. I know she would be at the high end of the spectrum if she is on the spectrum....but I would regret not getting her help now if she really needs it. Does this sound like any of your high spectrum toddlers? Did any of you have these concerns and your toddler grew out of them? She has such good joint attention which makes me doubt autism.

Someone else may have a different pov but personally this sounds like my 2.3 year old and at her 2 year check up they had no worries about her. In fact she does all the things yours is doing and has changed from week to week.

To be honest I wonder if my child is slightly insane the way she Carrie's on at time... that or possessed. She will run in circles shaking her head side to side making noises and giggling....

Mine won't go near strange adults or any men she is not 100% used to. Its taken her weeks to get used to the builders and not go shy with them. Last year if someone talked to her she would react back... now she will just stare at them and not say a word...

She doesn't say hi or bye 90% of the time without prompting and when I had been on holiday for a few nights she hadnt even noticed I had gone (rude). When she wakes up I usually get "mummy's bed" and "milk and biscuit". In fact last night was the first night she actually responded when I said goodnight to her... normally i just get silence.

I honestly think alot of the things you are saying is normal 2 year old behaviour while they try to work out boundaries, develop speech and generaly learn how to be a person.

Does yours attend day care or similar setting with professionals who deal with littles ones daily as they would be more accustomed to noticing different behaviours that are outside the realms of what is considered normal.

She has a very strong list of positives and while some of your concerns can be linked to autism they are all soft markers, however if you are concerned you should certainly mentioned it (though your concerns might be dismissed as you suggest). Not being affectionate and being serious could just be personality (many children with autism as very happy and very affectionate). Waving and saying hi/bye are all learned skills and children not doing them (at all or in context at 2YRs old) will not treated as a concern. "doesn't like to interact with adults....but likes kids", this should be in your positive list, it is a marker against autism. Some echolalia is expected at 2YRs old and peaks at 2.5Y. It is not unusual for a 2YR old to know some letters and letter sounds, numbers, matching, counting and basic sorting. You said that you "would regret not getting her help now" - what help or support does she need now?

Thank you for your response....I'm more worried that I'll find out a few years down the road, and then have her miss out on early intervention....I've heard the earlier the better for therapy. You don't think the peripheral vision side eye is concerning? She hand flapped yesterday too....ughh

I agree, the peripheral vision side eye could be a form of visual stimming and probably the most concerning thing in your list, however, it really depends how often she does it. It is not uncommon for NT children to also engage in some form of visual stimming at some point but it does not persist and not often (i.e. they do it more out of curiosity and out of discovery more than a form of self-regulation)

I think the side eye thing is really what concerned me the most and what made me think maybe there's something else going on.... everything else I've justified as quirky personality or similar to my husband while young.

She often does it while running....usually when she starts running.... sometimes will run with her arms behind her back too. If I ask her to run, she'll most likely do it....I think she's focusing on her shoulder? She cocks her head to the side while doing it too. But I'm not totally sure... She'll also ocassionally look at me when she's turning with her side eye too cocking her head to the side. She's been doing this for the last few months. I don't think she's doing it to get a reaction... she'll do it when she doesn't know I'm watching.

Right before this, she would roll her eyes to the side quickly and back, but I think she did this for attention and to get a reaction...my husband laughed once when she did this. She stopped doing that. I'm so so so hoping she grows out of this.

She also rubs her eyes too....but I don't know how much is normal.

I'm going to ask for a referral from her pediatrician for an Eye Dr to rule out any eye issues when I bring her in for her 2yr appointment.

Hi @Mamawith2 im just wondering if you have any updates? My son does the side eye run and I don’t see many posts about it! Thanks in advance!