my 3 year old son doesnt eat any suggestions???

[law3]

my son has always been a fussy eater, he wouldnt eat lumps as a baby and would only eat certain foods, even at 6 months old. Ive tried everything, making food into shapes, faces etc, letting him help to prepare food etc.

He was refered to the hospital when he was a year old, he had blood test taken and the result came back normal.

a year and a half later he still wasnt eating and he was refered to the hospital again, only to discover that he had been severely anemic the first time i took him and the Dr had read his result wrong.

He has been on medication for 6 months but his eating hasnt improved.

Have the doctors not referred you to a dietician. If he was a bit younger I would of suggested cheating and give him a mouthful of dinner followed by a mouthful of desert, but that is maybe not such a good idea for a three year old. Good luck, there will surely be someone along soon with much better ideas.

Has your son been examined for any physiological reasons for not eating, difficulty swallowing, choking etc. A referral to a dietician sounds a good idea as his lack of food consumpion is making him ill. There could be a psychological reason for not eating now, as I'm sure he has picked up your (quite understandable) anxiety by now.
I'd go back to the GP and insist that you are referred to someone, if the anaemia was missed at first, what else has been which could easily be spotted by a specialist. Has your health visitor not said anything?

Some children just can't tolerate foods of a certain texture. It sounds as though your ds may be one of them.

My ds2 also has a very restricted diet. Atm he lives mainly on bread, yoghurt (only those without bits in), and milk. He has sensory difficulties as part of his autism but children can also have this without autism.

A book that is often recommended on here is called "Can't Eat, Won't Eat". It's aimed mainly at children with autism but the tips and strategies can work equally well on children without autism.

book on Amazon

When he was refered to the hospital it was to a dietician, he gave iron and calcium supplements. There appears to be no physical reason why he doesnt eat. Because it hasnt interfered with his growth, he wasnt concerned and put it down to behaviour rather than medical.

Apparently with anemia you have no appetite and because it went untreated for so long, i was thinking he has just got into bad habits. He still takes the medication and is no longer anemic, but his appetite hasnt improved at all.

Copperhead that is exactly what my son lives on. I think you could be right about the textures, they are certain foods my son wont even touch with his hands and i will certain give the book a look!

I have spoken to my GP, Health Visitor, dietician etc and its keep taking the medicine and he will probably grow out of it.

He had a tramatic birth and spent the first 2 weeks in the special care baby unit with Rheusus Diease (he was a 'blue' baby and he no longer suffers with this) although im assured this is not linked to his current problem.

This book is good as well.

coopertop, my ds is much the same but also eats pizza (one make only, home made was not a hit)

Weird as this seems try some Cranial osteopathy, ok before you pooh pooh this My son and my friends kids who all have some form of special needs/troubleome birth. Have all had Cranial osteopathy (my ds has cp was born at 27.3 weeks)and it is a great way to relieve stress, and by holding on to his eating problems has got to be in equal measures comforting and stressful for him. At this point any thing is worth a try eh!

my little one is 3 and he is a fussy eater but with losts of persistance and putting the same foods on his plate he has gradualy tried other foods for a time he would only eat pasta but now he is eating potatoes and fruits yoghurts he does drink alot of milk still which can fill them up so reducing the milk intake and offering more water this may help but don't give up and keep adding foods that they can use thier hands for it has been the most successful thing we have done apparently childern will have the same foods on thier plates for up to 15-20 times before trying them with my wee one i'd say it has taken longer but i havn't given up and i kept giving him the foods he did eat to make sure he was eating something and he has started eating foods he has never eaten before although they have been on his plate, we all eat the same thing in our house so that helps every meal there is always the same food on my hubbys and my own plate. blend sauces for soods down and add lots of veg to them the wee one won't know the differance this works well with pastas. i thnk thats all i can suggest.
Good Luck, and don't give up and don;t force the wee one to eat or they won't.
take care,
Annie*

law3, now I get the picture. I think you may be right about not eating becoming a bad habit.
I seem to remember Dr Tanya Byron treating a non eating child with a sticker type rewards scheme, for just tasting a new food or a different textured one. You can add 'pictures' of the new foods when they are eaten to a chart saying I ATE THIS TODAY and give lots of praise and a sticker, making no response when items are not eaten. Do you know a child who is a good eater and could you invite him/her to eat with your son? Sometimes their enthusiasm rubs off.

Thanks to everyone for your support and advice. We have tried charts for trying new foods etc, but he just isnt interested in food and doesnt seem to get hungry.

Myself, my husband, my son and my 2 other kids sit down to dinner every night and everyone has the same thing. I still make him breakfast, lunch and dinner but he just doesnt touch it.

The specialist suggesting not making his usual bread, yoghurt etc available to him. This didnt bother him in the slightest, he just didnt eat a thing for 2 weeks. So much for eating when your hungry!!! This approach worked within a day with my other 2 kids when they were fussy.

I have always been pretty laid back when it comes to kids eating and have always thought they will eat when hungry, but he doesnt seem to get hungry.

It is worrying knowing the only nutrition my son gets comes in a bottle of medicine. I will try everything that everyone has suggested and fingers crossed i supposed!!

Can I just give you a message of hope?
Ds2 was like that,rice pudding,scrambled egg used to make him gag just by looking.
He is very,very fussy about food still,doesn't like pasta or rice,tomatoes,onions,most fruit and veg in fact.Will only eat tiny amounts of meat.
His nickname is Noodle because he is so slender.
A few weeks ago just short of his eighth birthday,he voluntarily tasted prawns and fresh grilled sardines.Later in the week he ordered both and ate the lot.
Try not to worry too much(I know how hard that can be though)

thanks for that sugarfree. I do try not to worry, then feel guilty in case there is something i should be worrying about!!!

This is my 3rd child, with an age gap of 10 years between him and my oldest. I have been so relaxed and laid back with him and have really been enjoying being a mum (thinking im an older and more experienced mum now!!)

I am really hoping it is a phase he will grow out of, then feel guilty in case there is something more serious going on (even though the specialist tell me there isnt, as a 'mum' i should know!!!)

I have ordered the book that Copperhead suggested and hopefully that will give me some new ideas to try.

At the moment, after trying so many things i let him eat what he wants, when he wants it (as long as its healthy) Not sure if this is the right approach, but something is better than nothing.

That's what we do now Law3,we just don't mention food.He either eats or he doesn't.

Another suggestion is what are his teeth like. Again weird thing to say, but quite by chance today I was talking to someone who had a similar problem to yours and she was telling me her daughter had to have her back four teeth out due to over crowding (she was also 3) and after that her daughters eating improved dramatically. I thought of you when she was telling me this and so I thought I would just drop you a line. Doesn't it sometimes feel as if you know everyone personally on Mumsnet

law3- i am totaly with u on this my 3 yr old is th same - only fairy cakes , toast and chicken nuggets here and loads of milk looks healthy - good at the table - will touch and discus i just can not get any of it in i als came on looking for inspiration !
i think he eats the f-cakes because we make them so maybe I should get him making other things - but the nursary dos a lot of that and he will nt eat the pizza he makes
i get sooo excited when something does go in - and after yet another explosion b-cos i dared to suggest that he eat a dohnut and some yogut i am feelin a little lost
sorry not very useful , unless u consider u r not alone

Had exactly same problem with my DS. Would only eat limited foods and only those that were fairly soft and easy to go down.

He dropped from 95th percentile when born to 9th percentile by the time he was two and hovered precariously there until he started school.

About this time he started to get fairly regular bouts of tonsilitis (sp?) which he seemed to find unusually distressing. It wasn't until we went to the GP one time and found a locum there that she observed that his tonsils were abnormally large and so the swelling of the infection was practically closing his throat off altogether. She suggested we consider having them removed.

Now I know that this is pretty drastic action in this day and age when the norm is not to perform any surgery that is absolutely necessary but I asked to be referred.

Consultant wasn't keen as he said that the bouts of infection, though quite regular, where not frequent enough to really warrant the op by today's standards but I dug my heels in.

He had the op when he was seven (and it certainly was not a comfortable feeling that I was maybe putting him through it for no good reason) but he honestly never looked back.

Once recovered, he started first of all eating more of the things he liked. (Mealtimes had been such a chore as he would take absolutely ages over every single mouthful - even his school had complained that he ate so slowly at lunchtimes). Then he gradually began to try more and more things.

Now, at 14, I wish I could put the ruddy things back as he eats all before him and can empty a fridge of the weeks shopping in under 24 hours! And, to his complete joy, he found last year that he was no longer the smallest boy in his year. He used to be the smallest by quite a long way up to about year 6, but has gradually caught up and now (just completed year 9) has two classmates who are slightly smaller and several who are only a matter of an inch or so bigger.

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site-I have twins who are just over a year old who are gorgeous- great fun , happy, contented and now starting to sleep more than 4 hours at a time so I'm starting to feel normal again but my son is eating fewer and fewer things- he has never liked cheese but as of this week won't eat toast,bananas,raisins or even a chicken/sweet potato mush from Annabel Karmel's book which used to be one of his favourite things and which I made in desperation as he's really too old for purees! I know he's thriving and I know all the books say that no child ever died of stubbornness but it's hard not to worry-his diet boundaries seem to be closing in almost daily and I'm afraid he's getting more and more limited because unless I refuse to give him an alternative when he refuses food I end up going back to the few things I know he'll eat like garlic bread, leek soup and pasta (but only from a jar-the stuff I prepare lovingly from scratch is obviously poisoned-or you'd think so from his reaction!!) Sorry to go on but I do worry he'll end up anaemic and meanwhile his sister eats everything she's given- yet they say twins are similar in tastes because theyr'e exposed to similar tastes in the womb- yeah, right ! Anyone had the same problem and did they just sit tight or how do you get a 1 year old to eat?

Arrr! thanks for thinking of me liliac. His teeth are fine and believe it or not he is not underweight. He generally looks very healthy although he is extremely pale. He does drink tons of milk (i have tried cutting this down, but things still dont improve)

The other thing is that he does show some autistic traits - getting him to wear new shoes is a nightmare, he is always lining toys up. If he has sweets, he sorts them into colours before he eats them, he is very selective of which sweets, cakes etc he will eat (normally kids will eat any old sweet etc) Potty training was a nightmare. But then again this is probably normal behaviour for a 3 year old??? I dont think he is austistic as he doesnt show any other signs.

Thanks Dolbear, it is reassuring to know im not the only one, especially as Dr's, Health Visitors etc dont consider it a problem because there is nothing physically wrong with him. Im an over anxious mother!!!!

Will let you know if i find anything that works

My ds2 drinks a lot of milk too. Even on days when he drinks very little he doesn't eat any better. He doesn't really like sweets or cakes either, although he will sometimes eat chocolate. Like your ds he's not underweight either. Apart from the autism and anaemia they could be clones.

hi copperhead, hope you dont mind me asking but how old was your child when they were diagnosised with autism and by whom?

Its just my brother was severely autistic, he didnt like to be touched, no eye contact, rocking, had to wear the exact same clothes every day, everything had to be in exactly the right place etc, etc. So compared to my brother, i would say my son is not autistic.

Someone, somewhere along the line had suggested that my son might be mildly autistic, but never followed it up.

Since your child was diagnosised what have the benefits been?

Ask away.

I have 2 boys with autism. Ds1 was diagnosed at 3.5yrs. Ds2 got into the system far quicker because of his brother and was given an informal diagnosis at 2yrs which was made official at 3yrs.

Ds2 saw a Paediatrician at the Child Development Centre (CDC). The Paed agreed that ds2 was probably autistic and referred him for a full assessment. He was seen by a group of people: Speech Therapist (SALT), Child Psychologist, Occupational Therapist, and a Physiotherapist. There was a meeting where everyone went through their findings and the Paed said that ds2 had autism. (Ds1 got his diagnosis pretty much the same way).

Ds2's autism is fairly mild and most people probably wouldn't even guess that he's autistic if they met him. Since having appointments with the SALT his language is now good, although it's a bit quirky. He dislikes loud noise and doesn't like wearing clothes. He doesn't like anything in his mouth so brushing his teeth is difficult. He also likes to know in advance about what's going to be happening.

Since getting the diagnosis ds2 has had a lot of help. He saw the SALT once a month until fairly recently. At his pre-school he had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) which sets out targets for him to achieve and how to go about it. He also had visits from a portage worker who had lots of good ideas to help with any problems we were having. He also has access to the Occupational Therapy clinic. He sees the Paed a couple of times a year. The Paed has also helped us with ds2's sleeping difficulties, which are fairly common with autism. Ds2 is now 4.5yrs old and starts school next month at a local mainstream primary school.

thanks coppertop. Its worth getting it diagnosised then. I dont think my son is autistic, he is very socialable and plays lots of pretend play etc, etc.

Im still waiting for the book you suggested to arrive and hopefully some new ideas!!!

Thanks again for sharing your experiences.

some success!!!!Having read the book that Coppertop suggested.

The specialist had told me NOT to make his usual food available and just offer him what we were eating at meal times. After 3 months of trying this it is apparent that this isnt working. I decided if he doesnt eat anything, he is very unlikely to eat an adult meal, so we went shopping yesterday, he had a basket and decided what he wanted to eat for breakfast and dinner. I also brought a timer (a food timer that rings)

Dinner last night he decided in advance what he wanted and we made a menu, ie 1 chicken nuggett, 1 smiley face and 1 Thomas Tank pasta shape, with a few chewy sweets for desert.(he has only every eaten a smiley face before, although he hasnt eaten one in a while).

We set the timer to 5 minutes on the understading that if he had eaten enough he could have the sweets. He ate the smiley face and the chicken nuggett (the first bit of meat he has EVERY eaten!!) wouldnt try the pasta shape, but Rome wasnt built in a day!!

He thought it was great fun trying to beat the timer and be the 'winner' and would have done it without the sweets.

He even asked if we could play again later with some strawberrys (the 1st time he has EVER asked for food)

Im so excited (sad aint i!!)

YAY! I have just read thru the whole thread and am quietly weeping... I'm really impressed with the way you've handled this. I think you're being amazing. Well Done!!!!!