please tell me this is a phase!

[rbmilliner]

Have a 2 year DD who has recently become shall we say 'high maintenance' and I'm finding it very wearing.
She used to be a happy little thing but just recently seems to grisle what seems all the time, she seems to wake up unhappy and the slightest little thing makes her whine. I do say to her 'all you have to do is say please can I have.....' (i know that's probably a bit much for a two year to grasp) and she generally calm down but it seems nothing is ever right and always proceeded with a whine.

She's not a naughty little girl but is very strong minded and fiercely independent and whilst I try to encourage her to do as much as she can for herself there are things at two she simply can't do which lead to her screaming and I'm ashamed to say not always liking her. I seem to have to repeat everything to the point that I almost shouting just to get her do anything like put her shoes on or get up the table for dinner.
At the moment I feel such a usless Mum and am finding it really hard keeping my temper with her as she just seems to push all my buttons.
This is my first so don't have much to go by. I know this is the terrible twos but she seems so volatile all the time.
Is this normal, how do I cope and when will it end?

I'm at that stage with my son. He is 22 months. I too am encouraging please, thank you, etc. He has masterd no, finished and now. Hm. He can do please and thank you, just chooses not to!
He had a proper paddy yesterday because I got the wrong tracky bs out for him 😩
Luckily for me, I have had the pleasure of going through this before. They act out because they are frustrated 😤 the little darlings are becoming more aware of what they like, what they want etc and because they lack the verbal capability they find it hard to express what they want. It's a difficult and challenging time. Your stress limit will be tested several times a day. The best advice I can give you is to remember it's not her fault. Try and remain calm and ask her to show mummy. If she continues to act out, as long as she is safe and cannot hurt herself, ignore her. I tell my son to tell mummy when you've finished being silly and then I can help you. More often than not, he calms quite quickly, comes and takes my hand and says help. Then he shows me what he wanted and we resolve whatever it was together. When you need her to do something she doesn't want to, eg get in the car seat. Argh. Try to explain that she needs to go in the seat to be safe and then you can go on your adventure. Be it shops, park... Remember to say please sit in your chair. And then when she is in, tell her she was a good girl and say thankyou.
I could go on. This is how it works for me. They soon learn. Patience. Explain. Wait.
Good luck 💐

Thanks @Cupcakesandcurlyfries not that I want you to be having a bad time but it is good to know she's not the only one. Am practicing deep breaths before smiley face and explaining as you said.

Good luck to you too and hopefully won't be too long till we get to the other side!