Worried sick - 17 month old showing signs of ASD

[MarshmallowMeadow]

I have a 17 month old DS who isn’t talking, pointing or showing much interest in other children. I’ve read that these are all red flags for autism and I’ve been lying awake at night worrying.

On the positive side his eye contact is fine, he responds to his name and when we’re at home he’s constantly bringing things to show me. He’ll also pretend to feed his teddy, lifts his arms to be picked up, and understands what I say (if I give him instructions he’ll follow them). He’ll wave and clap but won’t point (although does gesture with his whole hand). He’ll also follow my line of point, and will do the whole joint referencing thing (he’ll look at something new/interesting and then look back at me to see my reaction). He also smiles back if I smile at him and will babble if I ask him to talk but has no recognisable words other than ‘dada’.

I can’t work out if I’m worrying unnecessarily or if there’s something wrong. If people he doesn’t know come up to talk to him he’ll most often totally ignore them, the same with other children. Although sometimes he’ll engage if he’s in the mood - the other day he handed another toddler a ball and tried to feed her a biscuit, and my friend brought her 5 year old around and he spent the afternoon following her around. But most of the time if a child comes up to him he’ll back away, try to push them away or totally ignore them.

I should also add that he doesn’t yet walk and was relatively late in standing/cruising, although his other motor skills seem fine (he was early to roll, on the later side of normal to crawl, has been holding his own bottle/cup since 5 months and could feed himself with a spoon from 6 months).

Has anyone else had a DS/DD who wasn’t doing these things at 17 months but turned out to be fine and caught up? I’ve taken him to the GP but she said to give it another month or 2 before they would do anything.

Your DS sounds a lot like mine at that age.

My 20mo wasn’t pointing or talking at 17m. He turned 18m on the Friday, and so I took him to see the HV on the Monday. Then he pointed for the first time on the Thursday and is now a pointing machine!! Sometimes even pointing with both hands, and constantly! He’s also become a bit more aware/ interested in other people.

He still not talking but speech delays are really common so whilst we are going to do speech therapy (we have family history of issue and my DS has glue ear), I feel pretty sure that he is NT.

Being told you have to wait and see is very frustrating but sometimes is the right thing to do!

Thank you so much @Kle209, that gives me hope and so good to hear from someone whose DS was in a similar position to mine. My DH’s sister was slow to talk, as was DH’s niece, so I’m wondering if there may be a family connection there (both are NT). It’s reassuring to hear that speech delay is a common thing, I think the main thing is that their receptive language is good. Still find it so hard not to worry though!

Pointing to request and to share interest is not considered late until after 18M so he still has time and when it comes it comes very suddenly, i.e. one day they don't point, the next day they point once or twice and the day after they point fifty times a day. There is growing evidence that late pointing means late talking so it is not surprising that he is slightly behind in speech, but do remember that only 8 words are expected at 18M and this includes approximations and animal sounds. The gesturing that he is doing and him showing you items is very positive, so for now I do not think there is anything to worry about.

Thank you @AladdinMum, that’s really helped to reassure me. I’m really hoping the pointing will suddenly happen. And that’s interesting about the late pointing and late speech being linked. I’m trying not to worry, feeling a bit better about it today but I find it so hard not to compare him to other toddlers his age who seem far more advanced.

Hi
how’s your little one doing ? ☺️❤️