Very shy 4 year old

[yoursworried]

My DS is 4- he is at kindergarten (overseas) and is due to start the equivalent of reception in January. He is a well behaved boy and quite noisy at home playing with his sister, but he is painfully shy. He will never speak to another adult that's not me, his dad or his grandmas and he doesn't want to do anything if his sister isn't there. She is very outgoing.

He enjoys his little kindergarten and he speaks with his teacher there when she speaks to him but won't speak with anyone else. He also will respond to his swim teacher. If anyone says hello to him he just doesn't respond, or will come and stand behind me. If I gently push him towards saying hello or goodbye he just won't. He won't answer any questions either. I'm really worried about him starting school as I just think he's going to be so quiet he won't be able to enjoy himself or talk with his teachers. Academically he seems fine - starting to read, good numbers etc but he just won't talk to anyone. Does anyone have any ideas of how I can help him be a bit more verbal around others - I think it must be hard to be so introverted and I want to help him have a smooth school experience.

No advice as such, but my lo was very similar - would not speak to adults he did not know, refuse to engage with new swim coach, etc., but fine at preschool, at home, with familiar people. I was also very worried how he would cope. A few months later it was such a relief to see him going to school confidently, saying hello to everyone at the gate, enjoying nativity play and be fully engaged in school life. BUT he was at a very nurturing school with small classes and lots of individual attention. I think it was a combination of just growing up a bit (he started at just 4, summer birthday) and brilliant teachers knowing how to encourage confidence. I did send a letter to a teacher before he started explaining how he can behave to "warn" her, so she was aware of his issues. A year later, while he was not the most outgoing child, he was happy to try new activities, go to holiday clubs, etc which would have been extremely difficult for him before. I think some just need more time to become more confident, and some are naturally more introverted.