Toddler doesn’t say mama

[Mumandcoke]

NC as I feel a bit silly posting this but hoping to get some reassurance.

My DS is 16 months, he’s a bright and happy child. He’s been saying Dada for a while now and now is saying Daddy, he says it to his dad and even about his dad’s things when he’s not around. But he hasn’t and doesn’t say mama, mummy, or anything like it.

I know it’s not unusual to say dada first but he’s now starting to say more and more words, and he’s great at copying words and sounds when we say them to him. But still never mama, or any other word or sound that he uses when he sees me.

I encourage him to say it, I talk about myself as mama and my DH encourages it too. If DH says, where’s mama? he says that DS does look at me but I’m not certain.

I laugh it off but it’s starting to really get to me. I’ve felt for a while that Daddy is his favourite and now I’m starting to feel like I’m not important enough to him to need a word for me. For context DH and I spend similar amounts of time with DS.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything I can do to encourage it?

I should add, DS and I have a great relationship. I dote on him and he shows he loves me in other ways. I just think DH is the fun parent and wonder if this is the reason he says Daddy so much. --and I’m feeling a bit hormonal--

I know exactly how you’re feeling, though my LB (19months) doesn’t say mama or dada to us. But when I ask where’s daddy he points to or goes to daddy and for a really long time didn’t seem to know my name (ie mummy/mama) at all. He is just starting to get it, but if there’s a choice of people he’s likely to point to anyone else as much as me.

I really don’t think it has anything to do with how ‘fun’ you are. I like to think me and DH are equally fun, but I def engage with DS more often. I work part time so am physically there more often but I def suffer from mum guilt if I’m not playing with him whereas DH is happier to let him play on his own (assuming he will!). I have wondered if he doesn’t need a word for me since I’ll go to him as soon as he cries.

It’s tough and I don’t have any tips on how to get him to say (in my case anything, but that’s a different story) mama. I try to focus on the other times he chooses me, I.e when he’s sad or scared he’ll come to me for comfort. He’ll often cry when I leave the room but won’t for anyone else (including my husband!). I know he knows who I am, just not what I’m called.

I’m sure it’ll happen at some point - and then we’ll regret it when it’s a constant stream of ‘mummy, mummy, MUMMY!’

I'm in the same position!

Are you a stay at home mum? I'm convincing myself that dd doesn't say it or recognise me as mama is because she has no reason to call me anything As I'm always here?

What do you think?

I'm in a similar boat OP - my 15mo has been saying Dada for a while (started on Mother's Day no less thanks buddy!) but has literally only said something close to resembling Mama once or twice.

I've been worried about it for a while too but I've read recently that apparently the reason the word mama can be so often slower to appear is simply because babies don't think of themselves as separate to their mum! I guess at least in my case, DH is away in the weekdays at work whereas I'm always with DD - maybe she does just think we're a unit, which feels kind of lovely (I'll try to keep telling myself that to ease the pain anyways )

Thanks for the replies, it’s nice to know I’m not alone!

@Kle209 You’re right, DS is affectionate in other ways and does know who I am, just doesn’t seem to have a word for it. I think it just taps into (and aggravates) my suspicion that DH is his favourite, but I do know it’s not a competition...

@emzeexb no I work full time, as does my husband- DS goes to nursery. I think that’s a really good shout as you’re there all the time, but I don’t think that can be it in our case.

@Kittypillar that’s a lovely way to think of it. Even though my DH and I spend similar amounts of time with DS, maybe I’ll just keep telling myself that!

@Mumandcoke does he say any words with m or b sound?

It would be really outing to say what it was, but my son called me a made up version of mama until he went to nursery at about 2 and started to hear all the other little ones shouting mama. Even then it took him a few months! His first words were car... so I guess we know where we are in his priorities!

@emzeexb one of his first words was bubble (well more like ‘buhbuh’) but come to think of it I don’t think he does say any words starting with M yet.

@kmammamalto ah that sounds adorable, I’d definitely be happy with a nickname!