20month old really misbehaving!

[Nickname1234567]

Hi,
My 20 month old is being really “Naughty”, to be honest he has never been easy, he still wakes up for 4+ bottles of milk in the night and has always been an awful sleeper and has always been a real handful in the day since day one pretty much. But now his behaviour has just plummeted, and i really thought he couldn't get any worst behaved! People always ask me how i cope with him, and people are always giving me looks when im out as he is and always has been since he was about 6 months either crying, having a tantrum or since this age, lying on the floor screaming. I dont care what others think though, and i love my baby boy to pieces, i hate talking badly of him because he really is the apple of my eye, but i really need some advice now, as I'm starting to struggle and feel at my witts end with not knowing how to approach the behaviour.
I think the terrible twos are up on us, and i need some help of how to deal with the way he is acting. I have never been able to go shopping without him screaming regardless of doing anything and everything to stop him, but lately he has became worst, he gets out of the straps in the pushchair, he wont sit in a trolley, he falls to the floor and screams. He is screaming constantly, he wants his own way all of the time. He wont eat anything at all, he will snack here and there but wont eat his meals, just throws them. He is smacking, which i have shouted at him for as he is smacking hard in maliciousness. He is pulling my hair. And constantly having fits and tantrums on the floor. Its getting to the point where i literally dont want to take him anywhere because he makes my life hell if i do. I wont accept invitations to go anywhere anymore because he is that bad when i go out, i am run ragged and sweating almost crying because of how badly behaved he is. Any recommendations? Books etc? Or advice? Please thanks

Be kind to yourself. It is only the beginning, when he is 3 you'll look back thinking it wasn't that bad.

Shopping - just don't take him, order online or go when he can stay with his Dad.

Please don't shout at him, he is learning about the world and his way about it. At his age shouting not going to work and his poor little ears it probably sounds extremely loud.

He’s a 1 year old baby - he’s allowed to act like that!

He’s not ‘badly behaved’ he just doesn’t yet have the tools to manage his emotions and to properly express himself and must get frustrated.

Maybe try to change how you view him rather than trying to change him. For now, just accept he is a baby, acting like a baby - just calmly tell him not to hit or whatever and it will eventually sink in but don’t fret about tantrums and things like that. Lower your expectations for how he should be behaving just now as he is so young.

Do you have a childrens centre near you, where you can go for support. Listen to other arents and you will see your child is probably quite normal. You say your child snacks but doesn't eat meals. well then don't offer snacks. if he is snacking he may not be hungry for a meal.

Terrible twos tend to be frustration due to their inability to express themselves properly (it is a this age where their ideas become much more complex than the words and gestures that they have to express them) - how is he communicating with you? does he have simple words or maybe even phrases to communicate? and if not yet there, how is his gesturing? at this age they would be using all forms of complex gestures (like pointing, reaching, social referencing, head nod, etc) in order to communicate their needs and enjoyment with you.