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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Ds (3) wants me to draw/paint for him and sometimes remarks that he can't do it as well as I can - advice please

14 replies

EBAB · 08/08/2007 16:23

I love drawing. I spent hours doing it as a child, every day, and I'm pretty good at it. Ds getting into arts and crafts has been a bit of a rediscovery for me, and I enjoy sitting with him and drawing/painting, when he initiates it. I've never said there's a right/wrong way to draw, have encouraged him, tell him I love his drawings and say what I like about them ...

But he's into a phase of wanting me to draw pictures for him. If I suggest we draw together/one picture each, he'll say he doesn't know how to do it yet, and just occasionally, has said disappointedly that his drawing doesn't look like mine.

I would love him to enjoy art and drawing free from any feelings of inadequacy. While it may be that he is, and that he's just watching and learning and soaking up what I do, I am a bit scared that he is for some reason being put off and doubting himself - and that me being good at it is not helping.

What do others think? Am I worrying unnecessarily? And how would you handle this, moving forward?

Thank you.

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saadia · 08/08/2007 16:28

My ds is the same, he always says that my pictures are better than his and I try to point out all the good things in his pictures. He also tries to copy whatever I draw. Have no answers but will be interested to see what replies you get.

ChasingSquirrels · 08/08/2007 16:30

"well no, that's because I am 35 and have had lots of practice, you are only 3 and so if you want to get better at it you need to practice"

ds1 won't try stuff unless he knows he can do it - its very frustrating, but you just have to sit back and let them while keeping encouraging.

anchovies · 08/08/2007 16:30

Same problem here with my 3 yr old ds, and again no answers I'm afraid!

Tortington · 08/08/2007 16:31

i would comment frequently how you think his pictures are better than yours. I would frame his pictures and put them up and point them out to all who visit.
i would sent them in to art attack or whatever its called.

ernest · 08/08/2007 16:35

ds1 always loved drawing and never did this. ds2 has done this for a long time, either asking me or ds1 to draw for him, or make lego models. Maybe coincidence, but I think not , but ds2 has really poor fine motor skills. Is this the case with your ds2 perhaps? Tbh I encouraged mine to draw but in the end did do the pics/models for him as he was so de motivated . Now he does his own drawing without any coercion/fuss from me (aged 6). started after 1 year of Kindergarten at last to do his own. 1st year did very little, 2nd year now loves drawing, tho clearly not too good due to motor problems, but at leats now enjoys it.

I wouldn't worry or push tbh, chenck out/encourage motor development and go with the flow. It'll come if/when he's ready

thomcat · 08/08/2007 16:38

I would maybe say that's becasue mummy is relaly old (sorry !!) and has been doing it for a 100 years. Tell him again how wonderful his are, say wow you're only 3 and you painted that, wow, and so on, show everyone who comes round how amazing his art is and how clever he is and he's only 3 and so on.

Do you per chance have any artwork left from when you were a child you can show him? Or could you cheat a bit and show him a chilish drawing and say tht's what you did when you were 3?

ernest · 08/08/2007 16:48

tips to get him drawing - mine alwys loved to do that game where you draw monsters or funny people - each have sheet of paper and draw head then fold over so ther can't see and swap, then each draw tummy etc etc. mine loved playing that drawing game then it's not an issue of whose is best iyswim

KITTENSOCKS · 08/08/2007 16:48

Try explaining that his pictures don't look like yours because everyone draws differently, and that's what makes them all so interesting. You could use his picture/story books as examples, where the illustrations are drawings e.g. original Winnie the Pooh, Charlie and Lola.
Two very different styles, but we love them as they are, neither better or worse than the other, just different. That's why he loves your pictures, and you love his. Plus, the more he practices, the more proficient he will be.

Original poster

EBAB · 08/08/2007 18:22

Thanks for ideas. It's a relief to know others are experiencing similar. I like the paper-folding game and silly pictures and monsters. I think the problem could be in us often trying to draw specific characters from books, movies, etc (on ds's request) - whereby there's a clear, familiar reference for 'accuracy'. Made-up fun pictures here we come.

Ta.

OP posts:

HectorsHouse · 08/08/2007 18:23

my 6 year old does this but is begining to grasp that practice makes perfect

Furball · 08/08/2007 18:30

I had this with my ds when he was 4 1/2 - turned out he didn't know how to draw. I then sat down with him a we drew a house and garden with a chimney and smoke with me showing him the house is a square, the roof is a triangle. others were a snail with a spiral shell etc etc

Nat1H · 08/08/2007 20:48

Could you pretend that you have 'forgotten' how to draw something (like a house) and ask him to show you. Then you can praise him for drawing such a great picture! I would imagine that this would boost his self esteem, as long as he truly believes you have 'forgotten' how to do it, that is!!

JiminyCricket · 08/08/2007 20:55

My dd (3.10) got really perfectionistic for a while and often tried to get me to do it for her..now in our house we say 'I can't do it perfectly, but I'll try - I can do it OK, quite good, or bodged, but not perfectly' and mummy and daddy make sure they do lots of mistakes in their pictures...I don't like to show her 'how to' draw things, because I love the creative way she draws and don't so much like teaching her to draw in a 'symbolic way' (houses etc). Sometimes she likes me to do an outline for her of something - eg rocket, horse, scooter (that one was hard) and then she decorates it or embellishes it. But mostly she does her own pictures and she's got her confidence back now and accepts when she makes a mistake.

oliveoil · 08/08/2007 20:55

dd1 is rubbish at handwriting and gets VERY frustrated and ends up scribbling all over the paper in a rage

so what I did was I tried to write with my left hand and she was laughing at how rubbish it was

I said that is because it is not used to writing and my other hand has had lots of practice etc etc and make lots of over exagerated crap letters on the page

worked for a bit, not sure if it would for art

We have a whole wall in the playroom that is given over to every piece of crap they bring home, the love it, we ooooh and arrr over any little scribble, they love praise as well (not saying that you don't give it!)

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