Anger outbursts

[Alit1234]

Hi All my LG is 4 years old she's well behaved most of the time always does what I say and sleeps well. Yet she is very emotional about things. She can be really dramatic and at a party the other week had a melt down as she didn't win a prize, when I sat melt down its like she sees red and can't control herself other parents looked shocked . The outbursts can occasionally involve hitting she's uncontrollable for about 5 to ten minutes. Which doesn't sound long but these are loud outbursts once she's gone through it she says she doesn't know why she did it and gets very upset and looks quite shocked. She's just started school today and it went well but I am so scared this us going to become an issue and I'm not sure what to do she's never hit another child it's usually me she does it to any advice welcome

The other parents looked shocked but they were probably just glad it wasn't their child! don't worry about them. 4 year olds are still learning impulse control...it's very young. Is she ok in every other aspect? How's her speech and fine motor skills?

thank you for your reply. I guess you are right they probably were! Her speech is fine and motor skills seem on point, the outbursts can sometimes be quite bad we speak about it afterwards and she gets so upset as she doesn't understand why she does it. I feel bad I cannot help her.!

I've just remembered my youngest having the Mother of all tantrums aged about 5 in a shop when I wouldn;'t buy her a Tickle Me Elmo. She threw herself on the floor, writhed, screamed...it was shocking and people were staring....mostly sympathetically but I do remember the awfulness of it.

Tantrums like this are meant to stop around the age of 3-4 but of course, some kids don't adhere to this...it could be due to overstimulation, anxiety or just plain old immaturity. All children develop at different rates...this is one area your DD is still working on.

Self control can be improved by playing turn taking games...board games etc...and by discussing rules and social expectations in an age appropriate way.

In potential flash point situations such as parties..which are over stimulating, ensure she doesn't get over tired and that she drinks enough. Watch her for the signs of over stimulation...red in the face, too excited. Encourage regular short breathers..."Let's go to the toilet now" and get her to wash her hands and face and have a quiet sit down.

This is so helpful I never even thought about playing more board games and really does make sense now you have said it thank you so much. We have spoken about things she doesn't really take it in tbh the breathers tip is also a really good shout thank you so much for this x

My 3 year old is the same except she doesn't feel bad about it afterwards I am worried about her when she goes to school too but also hoping she grows out of it by then, and if she doesn't it will be the schools problem