11 year old scared of death and being sad

[Lucylionfluff]

Our 11 year old son has started to develop a fear of sadness, loneliness and death leading to him "wasting his life", that is now keeping him up at night.

It feels like we're at point where it's more than just a phase that can be supported through love and discussion at home, and that we probably need to get some help.

We're looking for advice please on different options and approaches we might consider to help him?

Other than this issue our son is confident, outgoing, social and adventurous. Within our wider family there is a history of mental health problems so he's in an environment where MH is talked about openly and honestly.

All constructive advice and ideas greatly appreciated please.

Hi OP

We're sorry to hear about this - we're just giving your thread a bump for you.

Hi OP. In fact I went through this very phase myself when I was about the same age. I don't remember it too well now (35), but my mum mentions it from time to time.
My parents eventually took me to see a child psychologist. I don't know whether this was through gp referral or not.
I remember it being regular one on one sessions where we would do an activity, like painting, and she would just ask me questions and get me to talk things through. It wasn't an instant cure, but it did help and by the time I was a teenager I had mostly grown out of it.
It is an awful feeling though, like an impending sense of doom. Difficult to manage at such a young age I guess.
Seek professional help, and keep hope that it will pass.

I realise you saying you are past the point of just love and support at home, but while you are waiting for outside help, I would suggest self help books for both your ds and you. You could read some adult anxiety cbt self help books which might give you ideas of exercises you could try with him. There are also self help books specifically designed for the child themselves like “what to do when you worry too much” and “starving the anxiety gremlin” which maybe you could read and work through together.

Thank you 👏👏👏

Thanks Donhill. Those books look great and are winging their way to us as I type.